Never Give Up

Never Give Up

As you begin your week, remember to take small deliberate steps toward your goals. You won’t achieve all in one day, but as one day turns into the next, you will inch closer to the end goal. Never let a setback be a setup or cause you to miss your comeback. You CAN do this. You are ready for this. Never give up.

Do It Anyway!

Wealth and the single mom

Wealth and the single mom

money jar2

 

I do not claim to have learned all there is to know about wealth. I myself am on a quest for knowledge and the total transformation of my life. Yet, I want to encourage every woman who is not living her financial dream to seek out advice, tips, books, instructors, etc., so they, too, can change their lives. The above picture is my actual change jar. It takes me a year or two to fill with my leftover change.  Once it’s full, I take it to one of those machines in the supermarket that counts it for you and collects a small fee in the process. I know. I should take it to my bank. See! I’m not a financial advisor. But, I am a mom who wants to leave a legacy.

Wealth is such a personal thing. I mean it’s relative right? Sure, some inherit it, but somebody somewhere had to first take a chance in the right direction and add in some hard work to build that pile of assets to, in turn, pass along.  I truly believe that as long as we have breath, we can change our lives for the better. That includes finances.

The Bible says in Proverbs 13:22 “A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children.” Wow! I want to do that! Don’t you? It may not happen for me or you the way it happened for others, but the truth is we need to start building (if we haven’t already).

I like to listen to a few folks on advice for saving. The Bible says, “There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors”. I say there is confusion in not having a plan. As a single mom, I have seen lack and abundance (my scale may be just getting by). It (life) has been smooth and it has been rocky. But, GOD has kept me and my boys. He has been faithful. Because of this, I like to be faithful with what he gives me. So, I believe that part of wealth creating is giving. I can’t say I always tithe like I want, but I give. I have charities I support. It makes me feel so good inside to help someone else in need. Try it. It’s amazing how even our little is sometimes greater than what some one else has.

If giving money is not feasible, please find time to show your kids how to give back to others by you all doing charitable work. If money is not a problem, consider mentoring other women on wealth creation. We are blessed to be a blessing.

Side note: The sense of entitlement of the youth these days is at an astronomical level. Even my own kids have tried to act as if the world owes the something. I quickly nip that in the bud. I have them help me serve, and I have them give away toys and clothes. I also had them pick out the boy we sponsor in Africa who is around their age. I talk to them about how blessed we are knowing that they don’t fully understand yet. But, I know one day it will be clear. As I work to build something to leave them, I want to leave my wealth to men who know how to handle it and who know the blessing they hold.

So moms, even if it’s five bucks a week, start saving now. Try the change jar idea. Or, refrain from the delicious $5 coffee for a few weeks and watch it add up. We have more than we think even when to us it is not enough. Saving is a family affair. Get everyone in on the conversation. Make it a contest if you can, but by any means, save.

I pray this post blesses you and your family, and you get started on building your empire.

“Saving is hard, and I have bills,” you say.

Do It Anyway!

 

Why do we have Mondays any way?

Why do we have Mondays any way?

Monday’s are really hard. Aren’t they? The getting up and getting going takes a while because the bed was so warm, the sleep was so good, and the weekend so short. The lovely first day of the week calls and get up you must. Work awaits. School awaits. Life awaits. The to-do list- awaits. But, you know what? It’s a blessing to have a job to go to, a dream to work on, a way to provide for your family, and yes, a list to complete. We all know or have heard of those who are less fortunate and wish they had the life-sucking job to go to that you have (attempt at humor), the honey-do list to complete, the deadlines to meet, and the errands to run. Yes, somewhere someone wishes they were you. We don’t know who, but somewhere. Now with that reality check and as the Monday blues dissipate and you get into your day, remember how blessed you are to be right there at this moment. How awesome to use your talent to make your life and that of those around run smoothly.

Now that you are thankful for the state you’re in, I want to encourage you to keep dreaming about that thing you actually desire to do, that trip you want to take, that business you want to start because, frankly, you CAN DO IT. Let this post motivate you through the week to chase your dreams and not take no for an answer. Keep believing that your dreams are worthy, and one day they will be reality.

Monday undeniably can be the worst day of the week, but it is also a sign of newness. You get to start all over and each new Monday holds the promise of being better the next time around. So, get going! What will you do with your new chance at a better week to do what you want, go where you want, dream your dreams?

Monday can be stressful, glorious, new, challenging, bright, but Do It Anyway!

 

Weeding the Garden and Personal Growth: What We Can Learn from a Weed

Weeding the Garden and Personal Growth: What We Can Learn from a Weed

As I was ridding my garden of weeds this week, it dawned on me that they are pretty tough to climb over the mulch and to also survive under two inches of it. I had to move a good deal of mulch in order to get to the weeds’ roots. In the Texas heat, it hit me that tough people are like those weeds. We are the weeds peeking their heads out through all the stuff that holds us down- the mulch of life. This scene spoke to me and I thought how life can be crappy like the mud and bugs in the garden, but if we become like the weeds in my garden, we can overcome anything.

Gardening gives you time to think and brings clarity all while making your yard beautiful.  Here are my lessons learned:

3 things we have in common with weeds:

1. Weeds grow in the dark. That’s us. Our dark times break us but also strengthen us. Somehow the bad brings good if we’ll hold on and go through it. We realize in the end that broken heart from that relationship ending didn’t last so long and thank goodness we’re no longer with “them”. Grow in your dark times. Or, that financial period where we couldn’t pay Peter or Paul let alone rob them showed us how to live within our means. But, during that time it was bleak. Or that health scare that took all we had, yet we sit on the side of a clean bill of health, NOW. All the dark times come to help us enjoy the good times and strangely enough to appreciate the dark as  well as the light. Keep growing.

2. Weeds face different predators but survive. Just like the weeds have insects that eat them, humans that want to pull them up, and elements that could care less that they exist, we have to face challenges and challengers to survive. Hang on and stand your ground like the weeds because you will survive.We encounter people and situations that aren’t in our best interest, but we survive just like the weeds do. I’ve had the non supportive family member or the back stabbing co-worker but I made it. You can too. You know, they look like they  support you, but they don’t. That’s okay. Be great any way!

3. Weeds take a licking and keep on kicking. We put pesticides on them. They endure the elements (rain, snow, sleet, hail, heat) and yet they push though those hard times to peek there heads out as if to say “We made it!” You can, too! Life sucks, but get up again and try. Just like the heat can’t keep the weeds down, so it is with you and me. If we keep getting up again, we will win. Also, I still had dead roots to dig up in some places because I had previously pulled the top of the weed but not the root. If I were to leave the dead or cut up pieces of weeds in the mulch, I would have weeds again. So, I have to remove the entire weed. Hmmm. Take your licking and if you have to reseed elsewhere, do so. It’ll be a good new place to grow again.

May we all keep growing through the mulch of life and Do It Anyway!

 

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Do It Anyway!

I want to encourage you to chase every dream you’ve ever had. Who knows what you will become if you look fear in the face and Do It Anyway! On the other hand, you know what you have if you do not. Go chase your dreams. You’ll be happy you did. Besides, don’t we have enough examples of “If I had only…”? Run into your destiny. I am.

Children need parents not more friends

Children need parents not more friends

Today, I received a reminder that parenting is hard. Not just single parenting, but parenting in general. Short story: My elder boy was sleeping in class. His teacher assigned him a 0. She may or may not have been shocked by my reply, but reply I did. It went something like this: ‘Good! And give him a detention, as well.’ You see, I’m not my kids’ friend. I’m their mother. Parenting means a little tough love every now and again will undoubtedly occur. He also is losing his cell phone and no PS3 for remainder of school year. Oh that’s not mean! That’s the consequence of staying up late when you were told to go to bed. It is also the added consequence of disrespecting an adult by sleeping in their class when they’ve planned a good lesson to teach you.

So, why this post? I share this to say if your kid makes silly choices, you’re not alone. If you are your kids friend, you need to stop. What happens when you’ve gone years without assigning consequences designed to deter negative behavior? Oh yeah! What happens is they go into adulthood with no limits, no respect, and are oblivious to why their lack of manners is offensive.

Please, parent your children while you can. They have enough friends.

Parenting is tough. Do It Anyway!

Kaydy

9 Lessons Life Has Taught Me

9 Lessons Life Has Taught Me

I have come into my own in my thirties. I know a lot of “twenty-somethings” dread the big 30, but it is truly a great time in life. I say this knowing that I am quickly approaching 40. Yet, I still have a few years before I get the “Oh Lordy, she’s 40” cake. But, in all seriousness, I am approaching a beautiful time in life. I want us as women to stop dreading getting older because we learn something valuable each year as we age. We get better with time in appearance, in wisdom, in our careers, and most importantly in parenting. So, I have compiled a list of 9 lessons I have learned in my own life. I believe they will resonate with you.

1. Take care of yourself.
I get better with time. I know you do, too. It’s just a fact that we are more beautiful and confident in our thirties. No longer a babe or a twenty-something finding her stride, we blossom into “grown woman”. I don’t about you, but I really found my fashion sense in my 30’s. I think I looked good in my 20’s but let’s face it, somethings need to be left in the past like midriffs being out and “too short” shorts. (Ikr) After my first child, I immediately felt ashamed of “short” anything. After all, I was a mom now. I really started eating better and wearing makeup (here and there) in my 30’s. I learned how to properly workout. Gone are the days of fine with no work. So, in short, take care of your skin, eat right, exercise, get rest, and leave the little clothes to the little girls. It will bless you now and later.
2. Be authentic.
I know who I am now. I feel like I have always known, yet I was not okay with being different. I was and still am “different”. I never ran with the crowd, never wanted to do the “cool” thing, and now I know that I made the right choice. I can without any qualms be authentic and stare any onlooker in the face and say “So what!”. Take it or leave it. I’m me and being me with my quirks is A-okay.
3. Chase your goals.
I know what I want to do in my career. I have always had a knack for talking. I’m an encourager, and I love to read. I’m curious and research is cool to me. None of those descriptions add up to Spanish teacher, but that’s what I do. I also do other things besides that like encourage single parents and that is a passion I know I’ll always chase along with a myriad if other things. Who says you have to do one thing? That dream that won’t die keeps nagging you for a reason. Chase it. It’ll free you.
4. Create the family you desire.
I know I want a whole family (mom and dad at the helm). I always knew this. I didn’t always make the choices that lined up with what I wanted. I know better now. In life and love, be courageous and ask. No, demand what you want. You’ll weed out who doesn’t belong and have room for who does. Amen.
5. Go when others do not see the path.
Sometimes people will think you’re nuts. That’s okay. That spark in you must be allowed to grow into passion. Chase it. You’ll be happy. When I left mortgages to be a Spanish teacher, my family said “for what?” Now, they can’t help but brag to people who could care less that I have my Masters. I didn’t do it for them. I did it for me. Be comfortable going alone. The rest will catch up.
6. Be brave.
I moved to Texas to chase a dream. It was the best move I ever made. I was fearless as a single mom with small boys. I was fearless because I had peace that God had opened that door. Be sensitive to the direction your life needs to go in, bite the bullet, and go.
7. Be available.
In your growing, chasing dreams and staying fabulous, be available to your babies. My years of working on my Masters are a blur and at the same time a joy. I say a blur because it was hard. A joy because Zi love learning and it’s a big accomplishment. I made it. My boys made it. But to say I was as present mentally as I should have been would be an understatement. Tired was the place I lived. I took breaks and had family time, but it was a time of sacrifice. I made a deal with them that they couldn’t do sports in those three years but after I finished they could. I made good on that promise. It just was not possible to do due to my taking three grad classes every semester and working full-time. I now see I was crazy. Lol! What was I thinking! Praise God we made it.
8. Being alone is better than being in the wrong relationship.
In love, you have to look out for you. Choose the best from the start and you can avoid some unnecessary lessons. I had to grow up in my twenties quickly as a single mom. I didn’t know how to date. But, Lord have I figured it out now! Simply put, If he does not bring peace to me and my house, he is not a good fit. He has to love me and my boys. We come together. No exceptions. I’d rather be alone than spend my precious time on a “temporary man”. Older women are attractive because we’ve figured out what we want and don’t want. Most importantly, we’re not afraid to say it.
9. Do It Anyway
This last lesson is key! Life is hard. Single parenting is hard. Building a company or chasing a dream will be hard. If it’s your dream, you owe it to yourself to see it to the end. Many may not come to help you, do it anyway. Do it alone, with tears in your eyes, broke, tired, hungry, but do it. You’ll find out how strong you are and that God really does make a way.

May what I’ve learned inspire you to keep going no matter what season you are in. Life truly is beautiful and you really rock! Remember that.

Kaydy

Find your fight

Find your fight

Single parenting is really hard. But, it can be done. You’ve got to find your fight. What does that mean you say? Well, it means to muster up enough strength to tackle the problem when it looks like you’re out-numbered. Find your fight. I look at my kids and immediately know that I refuse to lose in the game of life. I have too much to accomplish and so do they. I need that inner voice of mine to kick in and say ‘I won’t back down.’ What’s your fight? FInd it today and mosey over and tell that problem to take a hike.

The best things start out as the worst

The best things start out as the worst

Just thinking before I turn in for the night how some of my proudest moments came after some really hard-fought battles. Lesson: Life is no bed of roses, people will not be nice to you because you’re nice to them, and wishes are wastes of time unless you do something with them. But, you can win. I did. See, that’s the thing- it’s hard but once we stand up to the storm, it stops. Whatever your storm- financial issues, work issues, family, etc., look it in the eye and say “I won’t back down.”.

Fight for you!
Push through the storm!
Smile when you feel like crying.
It’ll get better. I promise.
Life is hard…

Do It Any Way!