Wealth and the single mom

Wealth and the single mom

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I do not claim to have learned all there is to know about wealth. I myself am on a quest for knowledge and the total transformation of my life. Yet, I want to encourage every woman who is not living her financial dream to seek out advice, tips, books, instructors, etc., so they, too, can change their lives. The above picture is my actual change jar. It takes me a year or two to fill with my leftover change.  Once it’s full, I take it to one of those machines in the supermarket that counts it for you and collects a small fee in the process. I know. I should take it to my bank. See! I’m not a financial advisor. But, I am a mom who wants to leave a legacy.

Wealth is such a personal thing. I mean it’s relative right? Sure, some inherit it, but somebody somewhere had to first take a chance in the right direction and add in some hard work to build that pile of assets to, in turn, pass along.  I truly believe that as long as we have breath, we can change our lives for the better. That includes finances.

The Bible says in Proverbs 13:22 “A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children.” Wow! I want to do that! Don’t you? It may not happen for me or you the way it happened for others, but the truth is we need to start building (if we haven’t already).

I like to listen to a few folks on advice for saving. The Bible says, “There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors”. I say there is confusion in not having a plan. As a single mom, I have seen lack and abundance (my scale may be just getting by). It (life) has been smooth and it has been rocky. But, GOD has kept me and my boys. He has been faithful. Because of this, I like to be faithful with what he gives me. So, I believe that part of wealth creating is giving. I can’t say I always tithe like I want, but I give. I have charities I support. It makes me feel so good inside to help someone else in need. Try it. It’s amazing how even our little is sometimes greater than what some one else has.

If giving money is not feasible, please find time to show your kids how to give back to others by you all doing charitable work. If money is not a problem, consider mentoring other women on wealth creation. We are blessed to be a blessing.

Side note: The sense of entitlement of the youth these days is at an astronomical level. Even my own kids have tried to act as if the world owes the something. I quickly nip that in the bud. I have them help me serve, and I have them give away toys and clothes. I also had them pick out the boy we sponsor in Africa who is around their age. I talk to them about how blessed we are knowing that they don’t fully understand yet. But, I know one day it will be clear. As I work to build something to leave them, I want to leave my wealth to men who know how to handle it and who know the blessing they hold.

So moms, even if it’s five bucks a week, start saving now. Try the change jar idea. Or, refrain from the delicious $5 coffee for a few weeks and watch it add up. We have more than we think even when to us it is not enough. Saving is a family affair. Get everyone in on the conversation. Make it a contest if you can, but by any means, save.

I pray this post blesses you and your family, and you get started on building your empire.

“Saving is hard, and I have bills,” you say.

Do It Anyway!

 

Know when to walk away, know when to run

Know when to walk away, know when to run

Relationships are lovely. Aren’t they? Yes! Until, they go south. Sure, we want our friendships and romantic relationships to last forever, but the truth is sometimes peoples’ parts in our lives come to an end. In that day, you have to know when to fight for the relationship and when to let it dissolve. That doesn’t make you or them are bad. It just means you are at a stopping point and you have come to a fork where you will go one way and they the other.

Kenny Rogers has a famous song called “The Gambler”. In the song, he says “You gotta know when to hold, know fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run”. Of course, he meant while gambling one must consider this, but I submit that in life, business, and relationships one must know- you and me- when to let it go. We all grow. Sometimes that means we grow apart. Any one old enough to love knows that losing a friendship or breaking up can be hard, but you must decide if the relationship is worth it. Only time and you being honest with yourself will tell.

Sometimes, you don’t wanna go, yet deep down, you know you can’t stay. Make the tough decision any way. This is your life and you deserve complete love, respect, and happiness. If you must part, please try to end positively. If staying is the option, make some ground rules going forward. If it’s a business relationship, respectfully discuss the issues and expectations. You must be willing to fold and walk away sometimes. Only you know when.

I’d rather part ways than be together mildly happy. Especially when deep down I know it isn’t the right fit. Do not signup to be treated, worked with, or loved half of what you deserve.

Good luck and God bless on your journey.

Love you some you today!

Love you some you today!

It has been a very busy summer here in Texas. I have, however, managed to find time to spoil myself here and there. Now, before you get to thinking I must be selfish, I have found that the little things I do for me make me happier and thus influences those around me to do the same. Finding time to be you is no crime. Needing time and not making a point to do so is. I mean, who wants to be around a crabby person?! I don’t. So, the point of this post is to say to women and men, “When was the last time you treated yourself to something you love?”. If you can’t answer this in 30 seconds, plan something today. My “lovin me” treat is a pedicure. What will yours be?

Ideas to love you some you:

1. Catch a movie alone (I like the matinee. The price and it’s never full)

2. Get a mani/pedi (girls and guys alike)

3. Spruce up the wardrobe by doing some shopping (make a budget)

4. Have a nice lunch or dinner at your fave place

5. You know you better than me, so get going and get to living!

Love you some you today. You and everyone around you will reap the benefits of your self love and care. Life will always be busy. We can find time to fill time. Why not live a little and enjoy it.

Do It Any Way!

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Single Moms Are Not Fathers

Single Moms Are Not Fathers

I used to gladly say I’m the mom and the dad. Now, I just want my boys to know I’m mom. Women who are single parents do it all, but we aren’t men. We need good men to mentor our boys. We are not men. We can do a great job raising our kids, but we are not men. I don’t want to devalue the position of men by pretending they are unnecessary because there are great fathers out there. I knew and know some. The family is under attack and the sooner we realize that it is our actions that lend to this problem, we can improve it. So, if you’re one of those women that proudly touts you’re the mom and dad, stop it. Let’s stop wishing ourselves Happy Fathers Day, as well. We’re women. We still want a man. We are not happy without a good man in our lives, so stop acting like you don’t need one and respect the good ones that come along.

Single parenting is really hard. We are strong women raising great kids. We will provide good men for them to emulate, but we are not men. Leave the light on and remove the ice from your heart, so a good man can come in. Talking about the one that won’t do will not change the fact that the kids are there and in need of your love, help, and support. Focus on that, loving you, and making your world go round. Pretty soon, you’ll attract the real love you seek.

You’re not a dad, but you’re and awesome mom!

Do It Anyway!

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Do It Anyway!

I want to encourage you to chase every dream you’ve ever had. Who knows what you will become if you look fear in the face and Do It Anyway! On the other hand, you know what you have if you do not. Go chase your dreams. You’ll be happy you did. Besides, don’t we have enough examples of “If I had only…”? Run into your destiny. I am.

We Owe It To Our Kids

We Owe It To Our Kids

I’m in education and one of the things I see often in our youth is a sense of entitlement. I hear it from my friends and colleagues as we discuss our experiences. I hear it in my church, in the malls, out and about in life- I hear it. Kids today have strong sense of entitlement. We owe it to our kids to teach them how to survive on their own, to teach them life skills beyond what they get in school, to teach them to be appreciative of people and of what they have. I live in the U.S- the greatest country on Earth because we are FREE. Our kids should walk around knowing they are free and what a price people have paid and continue to pay for that freedom. They should not walk around oblivious to this freedom and allowed to think that they deserve to be spoiled and given an iPhone 5 “just because”. I mean, where did this start? Who started it? It is detrimental. The students say they do not need to learn because “My parents will buy me ____”, “My parents will pay for my ____”, etc. When will it end!? It won’t, unless WE do something.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t buy nice things for our children. I’m saying we have a problem when our children value those things over people, over relationships, over gaining knowledge, over us. So what if your child is not happy or throws a temper tantrum, we are called to shape them, guide them, grow them up to be responsible adults. We were not called to spoil and make them absolutely lazy that they depend on us far longer than they should. You know, the “failure to launch” kids. Those kids are at home because momma and daddy, mommy, or daddy did not lead them in the way that they should go. I am simply saying that teaching our children to value hard work is a necessary not a maybe. Teaching our kids to do their best ALL THE TIME is a necessary not a maybe. Teaching our kids respect is a necessary and not a maybe.

We owe it to our kids to be the best we can be and to teach them that working to be their very best has honor, has value, is their destiny. Doing anything else is mediocrity at best. I cannot stand mediocrity. Growing up lower class (catch that), I had a problem with mediocrity. I knew that just because I didn’t have the best of everything did not mean I wasn’t capable of doing my best (My grandmother instilled that early on). I pass this on to my boys. I refuse to let my children lose by temporarily allowing them to think they’ve won by wearing a certain brand of clothing, driving a certain car, or wielding a certain phone. In my house, my boys will learn true worth is more than what they possess.

Parenting is tough. Single parenting is tough. Do It Anyway!

Time Stealers

Time Stealers

Be careful of time stealers. We can never get our time back. These may be people, entertainment, unexpected interruptions that are minor, etc. Set a plan, focus on the task at hand, and execute it. As single parents, time is very precious to us. Do you have to sign up for that thing? Does your kid have to be in that thing? No. There is only one of you. And if you have free time, spend some with the ones who matter most and take time to relax and prepare for the journey ahead. Balance and finding balance as a single parent can seem impossible. But, it isn’t. Usually, we have some time stealers present, and we have to learn to let them go.

Are you someone’s time stealer? Or, are you allowing your time to be stolen? Think about it. On the journey of life, we must do our best to make the most impact. Time is a precious commodity.

Time stealers knocking on your door? Don’t answer! You’ve got a family to raise and a mark to make!

Do It Anyway- Kaydy

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My boys are growing up…

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As I sit and ponder this sad, wonderful truth (I know oxymoron), the images of the chubby fellows laughing and playing as best buds run through my mind. I can see them now with food on their faces eating and laughing. These days, I get sad missing the “baby stage”. But, this stage and all the others in between have been beautiful, too. I have to remind myself that they grow up and soon they will be men. My job is to help them be ready for the next stage- the man stage. I am a woman and know only how to be a woman. But, I can surround them with good male role models that can teach them to make wise, godly decisions. This is my task. I can continue to be the best mom I can and let them become who they are. All these years of imparting my wisdom will not be lost. Life will happen and they will think on one of my sayings or better yet call me to hear it straight from the “horse’s mouth”. So, let me be what I can and do what I can to help them. Even though I want them to stay babies, they will become men. Question is- What kind of man will they be? I pray a godly one, a hard-working one, a provider, a listener, a comforter to his family, a GOOD MAN.