Success and the Single Mom: The Importance of Having a Dream

Success and the Single Mom: The Importance of Having a Dream

I have really been pondering life and statistics lately. Why are so many single moms struggling? How can we really get the support needed? In regards to the struggle, well, I know it is because most didn’t plan on being a single mom and it is just plain old hard to do it all ALONE. Finding support can be hard. I know from experience. But, it is not impossible. Oftentimes, there are resources within our reach that we just don’t consider. My story today involves me stepping out of my comfort zone that I’ve built and trusting someone with my dream. Trusting them to care for it like me. And my hope is that it will inspire you.

I guess the real question here is “why are you not living out your dreams or looking for resources in unusual people and places?” I thought about it and decided it’s time to empower you. To go from where you are to where you want to be, you must take a step. Take a step toward your future. It can no longer be acceptable to stay the same. You cannot stay where you are.

This past weekend, I took a step. I went to DC for a Mastermind. If you don’t know what that is then it is a group of people who get together and learn from and encourage one another. We were brought together by Paul Carrick Brunson @pcbbrunson on Twitter. He is a professional matchmaker, TV host, author, and the genius behind #MentorMonday. We all came together for day to share our stories, dreams for our businesses, and to get tips and critical feedback. His Director of Operations is also phenomenal and co-led the Mastermind, Ella Rucker @ellalaverne. Ella is a blogger, a single mom, a speaker and so much more. Having the opportunity to work with both of them was Amazing! They had additional guest lecturers who blew me away with their knowledge, kindness, and willingness to encourage and inspire us. It was a good day. AND, I met so many awesome entrepreneurs who I know I’ll keep in touch with forever and some we’ll even collaborate on projects real soon.

I one day will meet all of them again. We’ll keep in touch and inspire each other throughout the year. It is rewarding to have someone get “IT”/ get “me and my dreams”. And sadly, sometimes our family and friends don’t. This is why a Mastermind was/is so important.

I mentioned my trip because I want you to know that often our success lies outside of our comfort zone. If you want better, you have to move in that direction. Being a single parent and being successful may not be easy, but it is worth it. What do you know you need to do to go to your next level? Okay. Let me put it this way. If you could do anything other than what you do right now, what would it be ? That’s your answer. Make a move. Move into your purpose. I am.

May God bless you and keep you on the journey.

Kaydy
Do It Anyway!

Wealth and the single mom

Wealth and the single mom

money jar2

 

I do not claim to have learned all there is to know about wealth. I myself am on a quest for knowledge and the total transformation of my life. Yet, I want to encourage every woman who is not living her financial dream to seek out advice, tips, books, instructors, etc., so they, too, can change their lives. The above picture is my actual change jar. It takes me a year or two to fill with my leftover change.  Once it’s full, I take it to one of those machines in the supermarket that counts it for you and collects a small fee in the process. I know. I should take it to my bank. See! I’m not a financial advisor. But, I am a mom who wants to leave a legacy.

Wealth is such a personal thing. I mean it’s relative right? Sure, some inherit it, but somebody somewhere had to first take a chance in the right direction and add in some hard work to build that pile of assets to, in turn, pass along.  I truly believe that as long as we have breath, we can change our lives for the better. That includes finances.

The Bible says in Proverbs 13:22 “A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children.” Wow! I want to do that! Don’t you? It may not happen for me or you the way it happened for others, but the truth is we need to start building (if we haven’t already).

I like to listen to a few folks on advice for saving. The Bible says, “There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors”. I say there is confusion in not having a plan. As a single mom, I have seen lack and abundance (my scale may be just getting by). It (life) has been smooth and it has been rocky. But, GOD has kept me and my boys. He has been faithful. Because of this, I like to be faithful with what he gives me. So, I believe that part of wealth creating is giving. I can’t say I always tithe like I want, but I give. I have charities I support. It makes me feel so good inside to help someone else in need. Try it. It’s amazing how even our little is sometimes greater than what some one else has.

If giving money is not feasible, please find time to show your kids how to give back to others by you all doing charitable work. If money is not a problem, consider mentoring other women on wealth creation. We are blessed to be a blessing.

Side note: The sense of entitlement of the youth these days is at an astronomical level. Even my own kids have tried to act as if the world owes the something. I quickly nip that in the bud. I have them help me serve, and I have them give away toys and clothes. I also had them pick out the boy we sponsor in Africa who is around their age. I talk to them about how blessed we are knowing that they don’t fully understand yet. But, I know one day it will be clear. As I work to build something to leave them, I want to leave my wealth to men who know how to handle it and who know the blessing they hold.

So moms, even if it’s five bucks a week, start saving now. Try the change jar idea. Or, refrain from the delicious $5 coffee for a few weeks and watch it add up. We have more than we think even when to us it is not enough. Saving is a family affair. Get everyone in on the conversation. Make it a contest if you can, but by any means, save.

I pray this post blesses you and your family, and you get started on building your empire.

“Saving is hard, and I have bills,” you say.

Do It Anyway!

 

Love you some you today!

Love you some you today!

It has been a very busy summer here in Texas. I have, however, managed to find time to spoil myself here and there. Now, before you get to thinking I must be selfish, I have found that the little things I do for me make me happier and thus influences those around me to do the same. Finding time to be you is no crime. Needing time and not making a point to do so is. I mean, who wants to be around a crabby person?! I don’t. So, the point of this post is to say to women and men, “When was the last time you treated yourself to something you love?”. If you can’t answer this in 30 seconds, plan something today. My “lovin me” treat is a pedicure. What will yours be?

Ideas to love you some you:

1. Catch a movie alone (I like the matinee. The price and it’s never full)

2. Get a mani/pedi (girls and guys alike)

3. Spruce up the wardrobe by doing some shopping (make a budget)

4. Have a nice lunch or dinner at your fave place

5. You know you better than me, so get going and get to living!

Love you some you today. You and everyone around you will reap the benefits of your self love and care. Life will always be busy. We can find time to fill time. Why not live a little and enjoy it.

Do It Any Way!

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Why do we have Mondays any way?

Why do we have Mondays any way?

Monday’s are really hard. Aren’t they? The getting up and getting going takes a while because the bed was so warm, the sleep was so good, and the weekend so short. The lovely first day of the week calls and get up you must. Work awaits. School awaits. Life awaits. The to-do list- awaits. But, you know what? It’s a blessing to have a job to go to, a dream to work on, a way to provide for your family, and yes, a list to complete. We all know or have heard of those who are less fortunate and wish they had the life-sucking job to go to that you have (attempt at humor), the honey-do list to complete, the deadlines to meet, and the errands to run. Yes, somewhere someone wishes they were you. We don’t know who, but somewhere. Now with that reality check and as the Monday blues dissipate and you get into your day, remember how blessed you are to be right there at this moment. How awesome to use your talent to make your life and that of those around run smoothly.

Now that you are thankful for the state you’re in, I want to encourage you to keep dreaming about that thing you actually desire to do, that trip you want to take, that business you want to start because, frankly, you CAN DO IT. Let this post motivate you through the week to chase your dreams and not take no for an answer. Keep believing that your dreams are worthy, and one day they will be reality.

Monday undeniably can be the worst day of the week, but it is also a sign of newness. You get to start all over and each new Monday holds the promise of being better the next time around. So, get going! What will you do with your new chance at a better week to do what you want, go where you want, dream your dreams?

Monday can be stressful, glorious, new, challenging, bright, but Do It Anyway!

 

Weeding the Garden and Personal Growth: What We Can Learn from a Weed

Weeding the Garden and Personal Growth: What We Can Learn from a Weed

As I was ridding my garden of weeds this week, it dawned on me that they are pretty tough to climb over the mulch and to also survive under two inches of it. I had to move a good deal of mulch in order to get to the weeds’ roots. In the Texas heat, it hit me that tough people are like those weeds. We are the weeds peeking their heads out through all the stuff that holds us down- the mulch of life. This scene spoke to me and I thought how life can be crappy like the mud and bugs in the garden, but if we become like the weeds in my garden, we can overcome anything.

Gardening gives you time to think and brings clarity all while making your yard beautiful.  Here are my lessons learned:

3 things we have in common with weeds:

1. Weeds grow in the dark. That’s us. Our dark times break us but also strengthen us. Somehow the bad brings good if we’ll hold on and go through it. We realize in the end that broken heart from that relationship ending didn’t last so long and thank goodness we’re no longer with “them”. Grow in your dark times. Or, that financial period where we couldn’t pay Peter or Paul let alone rob them showed us how to live within our means. But, during that time it was bleak. Or that health scare that took all we had, yet we sit on the side of a clean bill of health, NOW. All the dark times come to help us enjoy the good times and strangely enough to appreciate the dark as  well as the light. Keep growing.

2. Weeds face different predators but survive. Just like the weeds have insects that eat them, humans that want to pull them up, and elements that could care less that they exist, we have to face challenges and challengers to survive. Hang on and stand your ground like the weeds because you will survive.We encounter people and situations that aren’t in our best interest, but we survive just like the weeds do. I’ve had the non supportive family member or the back stabbing co-worker but I made it. You can too. You know, they look like they  support you, but they don’t. That’s okay. Be great any way!

3. Weeds take a licking and keep on kicking. We put pesticides on them. They endure the elements (rain, snow, sleet, hail, heat) and yet they push though those hard times to peek there heads out as if to say “We made it!” You can, too! Life sucks, but get up again and try. Just like the heat can’t keep the weeds down, so it is with you and me. If we keep getting up again, we will win. Also, I still had dead roots to dig up in some places because I had previously pulled the top of the weed but not the root. If I were to leave the dead or cut up pieces of weeds in the mulch, I would have weeds again. So, I have to remove the entire weed. Hmmm. Take your licking and if you have to reseed elsewhere, do so. It’ll be a good new place to grow again.

May we all keep growing through the mulch of life and Do It Anyway!

 

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Do It Anyway!

I want to encourage you to chase every dream you’ve ever had. Who knows what you will become if you look fear in the face and Do It Anyway! On the other hand, you know what you have if you do not. Go chase your dreams. You’ll be happy you did. Besides, don’t we have enough examples of “If I had only…”? Run into your destiny. I am.

A Little Motivation Goes a Long Way

A Little Motivation Goes a Long Way

I have had an interesting year. I started this blog and a few other passion projects seemingly all at once. I’m so passionate about these that I’m delving into them full fledge this summer. With that said, I want to encourage everyone but most especially my single parents to keep going toward your dreams. Life can throw you some curve balls, but you’ve got to swing at them to win the game. Keep pushing toward each goal you’ve set. It’ll happen if you do the work. I don’t care what your dream is. It will happen if you don’t give up.

What’s in you has to come out. Do you know the treasures you possess? If not, it’s time to do some soul searching. If you do, it’s time to make a move.

To stay inspired, I pray and seek God, listen to motivational music, read up on topics I’m interested in or curious about, and keep positive folks around and get rid of the negative. On the road to destiny, everyone can’t go. It’s sad but true. Don’t be shocked when you arrive at purpose and only have a few around you. Those are the ones who were “for” you.

So, what do you do to stay inspired? Leave me a post and let’s inspire each other on the journey.

Resilience

Resilience

I’m coming to find that so many people are being beaten down by life’s trials. I know. Life is hard. I have lived it. In the south, we have a saying. It goes like this: “It’s always something”. This phrase, I’ve heard my entire life. But, I have come to see that if I will just get back up, if I will just keep going, life will get better. It will not ever be perfect. But, it will get better.

On this past Friday, I had an opportunity to speak to a group of young single parents. These young ladies had their newborns and toddlers in tow and were coming to a church to listen to some speaker. Well, I knew going in that my audience would be young teen moms, and so I had prepared a topic for their age group. As soon as they entered, I knew my short talk needed to be about resilience and the art of Doing It Anyway. So, I winged it. I spoke from the heart. (God really will give you what you need.)

“Life is not easy” is a phrase heard constantly no matter where we live. At some stage of life, we’re going to speak this phrase. But, what is not taught is that we can make it and that there is always another way. So, with these young women, I chose to be candid, raw, and real. I gave them my background in being a single mom. Who cares about my accomplishments and what I do now if I cannot relate my experiences to how this talk connects to and will help them.

I explained resilience as being the art of bouncing back. I encouraged them to write down where they are now, where they want to be, what their goals are for themselves and for their babies, and lastly to keep that paper and consult it when life gets hard. We had a discussion where they were included and not merely spoken to. I wanted to tie in the fact that my struggles as a single mom were many, but that God brought me out of them. He moved me from a place of unhappiness and blessed me. And I wanted them to know He was waiting to do that for them. In the end, they all clapped and said thank you. I closed the meeting in prayer because I felt led to do so. I asked God to bless them and their babies and change their lives for the better. But what struck me the most was one girl said she was encouraged that she could still recover, bounce back, get on her feet, be what she wants to be. They left smiling and inspired. I left excited. I left knowing that my pain, struggle, good, and bad was just used to help someone else.

I am resilient. I want to encourage every woman, man, boy, and girl to get up again. There’s more to my story, but the point is I’m no longer there. I’m past the pain and you can be, too. Putting one foot in front of the other, working on your goals until they are achieved, and trying your hardest to move past the obstacle is the only way you, me, those young ladies will be able to say “Life is hard, but I am resilient.” Life is hard, but we all can make it.

Every obstacle is not meant to hurt you. Some come to improve you.

Do It Anyway!

 

Time Stealers

Time Stealers

Be careful of time stealers. We can never get our time back. These may be people, entertainment, unexpected interruptions that are minor, etc. Set a plan, focus on the task at hand, and execute it. As single parents, time is very precious to us. Do you have to sign up for that thing? Does your kid have to be in that thing? No. There is only one of you. And if you have free time, spend some with the ones who matter most and take time to relax and prepare for the journey ahead. Balance and finding balance as a single parent can seem impossible. But, it isn’t. Usually, we have some time stealers present, and we have to learn to let them go.

Are you someone’s time stealer? Or, are you allowing your time to be stolen? Think about it. On the journey of life, we must do our best to make the most impact. Time is a precious commodity.

Time stealers knocking on your door? Don’t answer! You’ve got a family to raise and a mark to make!

Do It Anyway- Kaydy