Parenting alone and loving it

Parenting alone and loving it

It is possible to parent alone and love it. Sure, we all want a real, true, long-lasting love. But what do you do in the meantime when all is riding on you and Superman is not coming? You live. You love. You rise! 

Today, I share a post I wrote for BlackandMarriedwithKids.com and I know it will inspire you to keep rocking your life and raising your babies. What if single parenting is a blessing and not the curse you think it is? What if? 

Let’s find out! Click here! 

Believe in You

Believe in You

Even when the last person you needed to say yes said no, believe in yourself. When the dream is dying and you feel like being desperate for just one second, don’t. Believe in you and your dreams. Give it all you’ve got. This won’t guarantee victory every time, but it will guarantee peace. When you’ve done your best, nothing and no one can take away your sense of accomplishment. Get in there and fight!

Do It Anyway!

How being a single mom has made me better.

How being a single mom has made me better.

Where do I start? My babies made me grow up even though I thought I was grown. I thought I was a hard worker. They improved that. I thought I was fearless. They showed me how to be even more fearless like alioness protecting her cubs. (Really. You should have seen me when they said someone picked on them. It was like Optimus Prime coming to the rescue. Lol!) I acted like an adult, so no worries. But, I thought I knew love. Oh, I only understood the beginning of it. 

In their own special way, my boys grew another part of my heart. Sure, I fuss at them, talk about them yeah, but they are mine. Raising them is not easy, but it has so many good parts. If I had to do this work/ministry of parenting with their dad, I wouldn’t have been my happy, fun-loving, “lover of life” self. We were not to be. Praise God! And there’s nothing wrong with admitting that. No hate. Its my truth. We could co-parent sure if that were an option. But he chose not to. C’est la vie. Es la vida. That’s life! That ain’t the point, but I say that for my sisters yet holding on to the past. 

But me! I’m great! I get to pour into my boys and they- they change me. Soften me. My hearts. So, if you’re out there whining andpining  about doing tius work/ministry alone, I want you to really get honest about what you lost. Really get honest. Look at the facts. Not the good times. All the times. Were they really that good? Were you treated with love and respect? Adored and honored? If not, keep living. Your greater hasn’t come yet. And to have it, you gotta let go. Raise your babies with all you have. You’ll see they make you better and you become open to love and live again all while becoming the you you were destined to be. 

I’m glad to be able to parent alone in peace. Thats not to say I don’t want help. I just know I have to do what I gotta do until someone worthy of all this comes along. So do you. Woman up!

Do It Anyway! 

P.S.

I hope my humor and refusal to be mediocre come through in these posts. Love that you are here on the journey with me! I like to mix a little country (since I’m from Louisiana) with a little everything. 🙂 

When you feel like quitting, keep going

When you feel like quitting, keep going

 Juggling the dream and a family is a big job and I do a good bit of it alone. Praise God for sanity, clarity, girlfriends, and mommy breaks.

But, back to why you cant quit. I just cant stop dreaming of the day when it will all make sense. When I will say, “Wow! I have arrived.” Do you feel like that? If so, that’s it! That’s what fuels me and it is what fuels you- vision, purpose, calling. Now, please don’t overdo it on the road to success. But, stay focused on work that helps you reach your goals. Soon, you’ll look up and be thankful you didn’t quit. Rest if you need. Readjust if you need. But, dont quit!!! Your dream is too good to be reconciled to only a memory. Fight To keep it alive. You deserve to see YOU WIN!

Do It Anyway!

The Ugly Truth

The Ugly Truth

I absolutely lose it from time to time. “Really?”, you say. Yes. Parenting and single parenting are not easy. But, you already know that. Now, I don’t do crazy stuff, but I will go on a long monologue/diatribe/aside about my house and the lack of cleanliness therein (namely in the areas where “they” cluster). Then I feel bad. Does that happen to you? Dont worry. It’s not a test, and you don’t have to tell me (unless you want to). But I just want you to know- it’s okay. I have realized that part of parenting is not being able to control anybody but me. Sigh. I apologize and restate what I need them to do in small steps, because I know that is what they need. Most of the time that works. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Why am I sharing this on a Sunday night? Well, I want you single parents and married folk out there to know it is not just your kids who don’t get up on time, clean up, or do what you ask them to do. Sometimes, we can make ourselves feel bad or guilty for not having perfect kids or the perfect house. I want to say- STOP IT! My kids get on my nerves, too! I parent/fuss/get over it and then we move on. My neighbors can attest to my diatribes on my kids not putting on deodorant and the importance of brushing teeth. LOL! Yep, I’m still having that talk. You know what, it’s okay. Prepare all you can. I do. In fact, I’m mobilizing them now to get ready for in the morning. It may go off without a hitch or I may feel the “Warrior Princess” well up in me at 6:55 when no one has eaten breakfast and someone is missing shoes. But, you know what, my plan is to handle it better. We’ll see. I can’t promise anything. Life sure isn’t perfect. Kids will be kids until one day they finally get “it”. Until then, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing great. And don’t be afraid to say, “Hey, you didn’t eat anything in the 1 hour you had? Sorry. It’s time to go now”. I bet they get up and eat on time the next day!

That’s my ugly truth. Yep! I’m human just like you! Love on you tonight. Organize all you can. Kiss your babies and get some rest!

Tomorrow may not be perfect.

Do It Anyway!

P.S.

Can you take a few minutes to tell me what you think?

Our kids have personality. That’s okay!

Our kids have personality. That’s okay!

Parenting is tough. Whether you’re a single parent or you have help, I’m sure you’ll admit that this is the one job that you can’t fall asleep on (Hopefully none of us sleep at work). But, it is ever changing and full of surprises.

When I became a new mom, I was excited and afraid at the same time. I had my ideas on how I would raise my kids mostly built on what I had seen and heard in my own environment. None of this is bad, but as they grew, I needed to adapt.

See, what worked for me, just doesn’t work for my boys. Are you and your kids there? Are you wondering why they don’t behave the way you did when you were a kid? Well, truth is they aren’t you, times have changed, and they are not you. So, what will you do about it? Will you continue to talk about how you were or will you see them for who they are?

Adapting does not mean lack of parenting, but it means you are allowing life to do what it does- show you its unexpected beauty in the stuff you can’t control. It’s wonderful that your kids have personality, their own ideas, and drives. Let them! Be okay with that. Of course, still shape and guide them. But, as they age, their personality will come through and I warn you- It may be very opposite of how you dreamed. That’s okay! Allow them to grow into who they are.
Do you really want replicas of you? Nah, you want to help mold some awesome babies into beautiful, brilliant, and brave young men and women. There is no book for that (Well, technically there are). Trial and error is usually how this goes infused with a lot of love.

Let their little lights shine no matter how different they are. I have two quirky, athletic, goofy, messy, smart, hilarious boys who I hope one day become men very happy in their own skin.

Letting go of the reigns is tough. I know.

Do It Anyway!

It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m ecstatic to be single.

It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m ecstatic to be single.

This may or may not relate to you, but I am thankful to not be in the wrong relationship. See, I was in one for three years and even though we celebrated Valentine’s Day, something was always “off”. Just wasn’t right. It wasn’t my forever live, but U tried to make it work. I am now, however, owning my new found freedom and choosing me over a relationship just for the sake of relationship. Now, it didn’t always feel that way, but the nice gifts and someone to do stuff with were motivation to keep trying to resuscitate a dead horse. Lol! Look, being single is not a punishment. It is life giving. Being married is a blessing for most and for some, it is sheer hell right now. What I’m saying is don’t skip one season to get to the next. All seasons have their ups and downs. Love on you right where you are. Enjoy your life right now . Travel , study new things, meet new people, make new friends , LIVE!!!

Having a boo, A bae, a man/woman is awesome when there is no drama or sorrow. Wait on your good thing. In the meantime, don’t let a commercial holiday make you feel small. Go on and live. Get the girls/guys together and go rollerblading, to a movie, shopping, have a cookout (if it’s cold where you are a dinner party), chat, play board games, etc. Just don’t pine away today eating chocolate and missing out on your life! Thinking right isn’t good enough. I know my mate better be somewhere living and enjoying his life. Why would I want a sourpuss for a mate? Get it?

You are amazing, and one day someone will see that. Until then, love on you and have the time of your life. Do t forget you have a purpose for being here and it’s not just to marry and have babies.

Being single is hard sometimes.

Do It Anyway!

Single Mom looking for Boaz

Single Mom looking for Boaz

I did a guest post over at DearHubby.com For those looking for “The One” and who need encouragement in the wait, this site is beautifully done and run. Check it out!

And here’s the link to my guest post!

Enjoy!

Prepare for delays

Prepare for delays

Life, for me, moves at a very fast pace as a single parent. However, two parent homes have the same outlook-busy. It’s hectic. Kids are in this, we have a meeting, or work, or church, etc. It’s just busy. But, we can fix this with one little word- NO. I know. How dare I! Well, it’s a must in order to live a balanced life. Even then, there will be delays, interruptions, and distractions. Let me tell you, raising little humans is not easy. It’s a beautiful privilege but it ain’t easy.

Example: Every morning we have a routine. The routine is we leave at 7 am. Everyone should be dressed, have eaten, and the kitchen clean by that time. Well, that didn’t happen a few mirnings ago. Guess who was upset about it? Right. ME. Not them. ME! And as these stories go, everything was out of order on the way to work and dropping them off. I had a choice to make- blow up or stay calm. I prayed, breathed, and said “Lord, you take this one”. Now, I can’t say I’m always this awesome, but it felt good to behave like an adult and do what I know I should first. lol! Ladies and gents, you know what I mean if you’ve ever read your child the riot act. I’m really easy to go into a diatribe instead if smoothly handle the delay, disruption, or distraction. But, we have to. This is life and the people in it with us are our heart and soul. So, how do we handle these situations? Everytime, with “Lord, I need you”. These inconveniences are going to come. Prepare for them.

That day I had a great day because I was determined not to have anything else. God blessed me through it. And I learned something. If I will always go to Him first what a better situation it will become.

So, what about you? What’s your usual delay that you can respond to (when it arises again) with calm, peace, and assurance? Hmmm.

Now, to do this next time! That is the goal for me. You know there will be a next time.

Hey, crap happens. Expect it. Move forward. Parenting is not easy.

Do It Anyway!

Kaydy

5 Reasons Why You Need Organization

5 Reasons Why You Need Organization

I have been paying close attention to myself and others as I grow as an entrepreneur and delve deeper into my gifts and encourage others in theirs. It has become evident that if I and if You do no get organized, the purpose we are called to fulfill will not get done. l don’t care if it concerns work, family, church, athletics, or cleaning the house. If we are not organized or have a plan, we will fail. Sure, some succeed. I mean lets face it, most of us have learned how to knock things out in the home stretch (procrastinate). But what about not stressing and being successful? Wouldn’t that be nice! So, if you said yes, let’s get serious and get organized.

5 Reasons why you need to get organized:

1. You get more done
Not saying anything new here. We just need to be productive. Lack of organization messes with your mental space. If the physical is a “hot mess” you will get nada done. Clear the cutter. Then, you will see how easy and stress less it is to be creative and work better. Knowing where everything is and being able to grab it without a possee is a good feeling. So, get organized, so you can get more done.

2. The quality of your work increases
I don’t know about you, but when I am organized, I can do a million more things. I’m the kind of person that needs the kitchen clean first in order to cook. I clean as I go along cooking so there’s less mess at the end. But when I sit to write, I also have to have my writing area clean. I need quiet. I need all my supplies. I need time, do I’ve carved it out. What about you? Do you know what you need in order to be more productive? Try organization. I bet you will never go back to working in a tornado again. Lol! You know what I mean. The desk that has everything on it but what you need. Fix it asap.

3. You avoid distraction
Oh this one right here is good! All that clutter=distraction. Pictures and cell phones and email, etc. will distract you. Remove them. Turn off the TV. Get organized and decide what your thinking space must have and what it cannot have. You need focus and distraction is the enemy of focus. Get organized and you’ll avoid distraction. Make a point to remove all distractions.

4. You can adjust quickly if needed
If you need to switch gears to work on another task, you can do so easily because you are??? #organized Yep, not a hard one here. Get yourself together. Carve out your time and you will be able to complete one task and move on to the next. No looking for the next thing. It’s already penciled in to be next. It’s already neatly laid put or filed.

5. Clarity
Being organized breeds clarity. It’s true. Once you have your schedule set and space clear, you will find it easy to get clear on what your good ideas are and what you should do next. I don’t know what you need, but I know you can get clear quicker in a clean environment.

So, I hope you have been inspired to get it together. There is still so much to discuss on this topic, but get organized so you can experience these five. You don’t have to work so hard. Get the things done in yo uh know you need to, so life can be smooth.

Whether it’s with your kids, on your job, or in your own business, organization is crucial to your success.

It takes time. It’s not easy to change your ways.

Do It Anyway!