Mama, leave the guilt at the door

Mama, leave the guilt at the door

As we wind down 2014 and gear up for 2015, I want to issue a challenge to all the single moms out there- “Stop blaming yourself for any and everything your kids do!” All you can do is be the best parent you can be. They will make some mistakes even with fantastic parents. So, as you get ready to be even more awesome in 2015, remember these 5 things:

1. You are one person doing the work of two
Sure, it would be nice if you had some help. But, look how well you’re providing for your family. Keep pushing. One day, Mr. Right will show up. Until then, work on. It’s not in vain. This is not a reason to cop out or do less, but more of a call to give 150% because they need you. I know it isn’t easy. I do this every day just like you. Even if your eyes are closing and your body hurts from working all day, keep going until the last kiddo is fed, homework done, and in bed. This is work that matters! 

 2. No one loves your kids more than you
I know I will fight a bear today! behind my boys, a lion, whatever for them. So, as a single parent, it is the love you have that inspires them, pushes them to be what you know they can be. Show it everyday and as a family, keep working together. This parenting alone in some ways is a plus. So many kids wish they had a mom like you. Don’t despise the now, enjoy it. I see kids with two parents who have no idea what is going on in their kids’ lives. Although you’re doing your best and you may feel it isn’t good enough, just know that your love is making a difference. 

 3. No one supports your kids better than you
Be their cheerleader. You are the one they want to show their successes to. I know it’s hard and you’re tired, but do it anyway. I have gone home and missed a few events, but I always tell mine in advance. I’m not saying be at everything if work or work life balance doesn’t permit it. But, be present and support them til the end. No one can do it better than you! 

 4. You are amazing and deserve all the good in your life
The job of single mom is a hard one. Sometimes, the kids don’t say thank you or appreciate the car service you’re running with no pay, but just know it’s coming back to you. All the good you’ve given, will return to you. Stay focused. It may be in the form of more peace, it could be a new love, it may be fantastic kiddos that grow up to b e fantastic adults, etc. Just know it is coming your way. When you’re exhausted and you think you can’t go on, go anyway! They need you. Now. 

 5. Your family will be blessed because of the work you put in

Speaking of awesome adults that make the world a better place, your input is building awesome children that will one day change the world. Every Yes and every No (which they need to hear sometimes) is building resilient kids. Because you are constant and involved, they will know how to be consistent, dedicated, hard working people. Relax! They will rise up and call you blessed.

P.S. I know it’s hard to see right now, but just continue to do your best. Even when you know you could have done better, they think you’re the greatest. Take out time to recuperate and love on you this year. Now that’s a New Year Resolution!

Single parenting is really hard. But, you’re going to make it!

Do It Anyway!

5 hindrances to pursuing your purpose

5 hindrances to pursuing your purpose

Recently, it dawned on me that everyone doesn’t know why they’re here. And that got me to thinking about how to help. First off, I know we all have jobs and/or careers, but purpose is that deep desire you have on the inside that you must fulfill. It will not only bless you but others. You can’t sleep because it’s calling your name, and every waking moment you dream about it. Purpose is your “why” for living. Although I believe we can have various degrees of purpose throughout life, I do know that it takes courage to pursue it. So, I list five hindrances to pursuing your purpose. Why do some never chase it and grasp it? Why do some start out on the right course but never finish? Let’s see.

Here are 5 hindrances to changing your life for the better and walking in your purpose.

1. Fear of the unknown
Yeah, I said fear. There is no guarantee that gut feeling you have will work and that, my friend, is scary. But, you know deep down the opposite of fear is going to be regret. So, get clear on what you are to do and just chase it. I guarantee that if it’s your purpose, it will not fail.

2. Doubt
You are skeptical about whether this is where you should go and what you should do. That is very logical and wise, but at some point you have to jump into the unknown sea of doubt to discover your possibility. Don’t let your doubts deter you. Research, study, test it even, but do not stay stuck on doubt.

3. Excuses
How many have you come up with? I had at least four before I started blogging. They were time, money, family, and work. As you can see, I started. No more excuses! Kick them to the curb and go for it! Today!

4. No support system
No one in your corner? Or, they come and go? That’s okay. You support yourself until you can connect with like-minded people. There are many of us who have to go alone in the direction of our dreams and our purpose. I think we’ll all be able to say that at some point others came to help. Keep in mind that what you have to do is too important to leave undone just because others can’t see it. It’s your purpose. Get to it.

5. Don’t know where to begin
I’m laughing as I type this because I so get that it’s hard to know where to start. I started almost a year ago on a journey that isn’t complete, but I’m so glad I started. Do you want to say a year from now you should just start or do you want to be walking in your purpose a year from now? Don’t let excuses hold you back. There will always be excuses why not to do it now. You know what I say? Why not now?

We all have a purpose. Will you be one who at the end of life says, “I should have” or will you be able to say, “I did”? Life isn’t easy. Finding, chasing, and living out your purpose isn’t easy. But, once you find it and live it out, you are forever changed (and so are all around you) for the better. Throw off every weighty excuse and Do It Any Way!


Why taking time for you is important

Why taking time for you is important

Question: If you give all of you away without being replenished, what good is that? Exactly. Rest is key. It is not selfish to rest. It is not selfish to say no. It is being responsible when you see that to take care of everyone else, you must first take care of you.

As single parents, we are masters are doing a million things at once, running on empty, and holding down the fort. But, every now and again, we’ve got to snap out of it and find balance. When you do this five things occur:
1. You are happier
2. Everyone one else is happy you’re happy
3. You get recharged to take on the next task
You get time to think about a better more simple way to do life
5. You are improving your health by reducing stress thus improving your ability to be around longer for the ones you love

So, when was the last time you took some “me time”? Loads to do, places to go, and people to see? Life is short. Do It Anyway!