Keep Moving

Keep Moving

Sometimes life hits you from the side and you fall. You didn’t see that job ending, the relationship disintegrating , or your friends walking away. It hurts when we lose the ones we love. Maybe they didn’t leave. Maybe it’s just strained. To all these I say “keep moving”.

One thing life has taught me is that if I hit the ugly stuff head on, it won’t last as long as dragging it out by procrastinating or wishing it away. You’ve got to push through these ugly stages as full of grace and tact as you can muster, with tears in your eyes, and exhausted. Find the strength to push through. Keep moving. Treat them well, speak your peace, and move on.

You are only responsible for you and can only change you. Interesting isn’t it? We as humans try to change others. Won’t work. Been there. Done that. Can’t love them enough, spoil them enough, put them first enough, etc. Crap will happen. People will leave. You know what? Take heart because you only want what stays. You want to love the ones who will stay and work it through, who support you, and will move through life with you. That’s how you know who belongs in your tribe.

So, what is it you need to move on from today? Only you know what it is. I’ve had to let friendships go and relationships go and in life I’ve moved careers. Hey, it wasn’t easy, but it was best. I’m not saying make any rash decisions, but you must evaluate where you are and what you’re doing. If it’s not the right fit and you’ve done all you can- MOVE.

Life’s not easy. Decisions are hard. Being a grown up is tough.

Do It Anyway!

It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m ecstatic to be single.

It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m ecstatic to be single.

This may or may not relate to you, but I am thankful to not be in the wrong relationship. See, I was in one for three years and even though we celebrated Valentine’s Day, something was always “off”. Just wasn’t right. It wasn’t my forever live, but U tried to make it work. I am now, however, owning my new found freedom and choosing me over a relationship just for the sake of relationship. Now, it didn’t always feel that way, but the nice gifts and someone to do stuff with were motivation to keep trying to resuscitate a dead horse. Lol! Look, being single is not a punishment. It is life giving. Being married is a blessing for most and for some, it is sheer hell right now. What I’m saying is don’t skip one season to get to the next. All seasons have their ups and downs. Love on you right where you are. Enjoy your life right now . Travel , study new things, meet new people, make new friends , LIVE!!!

Having a boo, A bae, a man/woman is awesome when there is no drama or sorrow. Wait on your good thing. In the meantime, don’t let a commercial holiday make you feel small. Go on and live. Get the girls/guys together and go rollerblading, to a movie, shopping, have a cookout (if it’s cold where you are a dinner party), chat, play board games, etc. Just don’t pine away today eating chocolate and missing out on your life! Thinking right isn’t good enough. I know my mate better be somewhere living and enjoying his life. Why would I want a sourpuss for a mate? Get it?

You are amazing, and one day someone will see that. Until then, love on you and have the time of your life. Do t forget you have a purpose for being here and it’s not just to marry and have babies.

Being single is hard sometimes.

Do It Anyway!

Why Moving On is All You Can Do

Why Moving On is All You Can Do

It’s the new year and new love springs forth, some old loves have fizzled, and the “rock steady’s” are still in love. Wherever you are on the love continuum, remember, it’s a process. Everything is a season, and sometimes seasons end. Sometimes when we’re hurt or sad about and end, we want to wallow in it. Sometimes, we miss the memo that the mourning period is over and it’s (been) time to move on. If you’re there, I encourage you to take time to grieve, breathe, and heal. But then, MOVE ON. All that is meant for you will STAY. You won’t have to beg, borrow, or plead with him or her. It’ll be peaceful. You’ll know it.

Real love won’t leave. Mature people get that. People seeking love and who know how to love they also know how to nurture it, respect it. You won’t have unrequited love or crazy love when LOVE really comes. So guess what, moving on is what you need to do.

If you had a facsimile of love, know that you’re due the REAL deal. See it, believe it, wait on it, and LIVE your life NOW. Sometimes, you just gotta move on and LIVE. Sure, that person was amazing and you messed up. LIVE! What would you gain going back to dysfunctional, depressing, “missing something”, “not quite right”, etc,? I’m waiting… (Taps fingers on desk) Right! Nada! Go on and LIVE! Put on your big boy or big girl undies and move on. Go be you! Take the lessons you learned as guideposts and do better next time around. DO NOT miss life looking back. LIVE! You have love to give. You just gotta find who wants it. And trust me, you have a match out there.

Life sucks sometimes. Love hurts sometimes. Letting go is hard.

Do It Anyway!

4 Steps to Pursuing Your Purpose

4 Steps to Pursuing Your Purpose

PurposeThe word purpose has been a buzz word ever since Rick Warren wrote The Purpose Driven Life. I mean I remember learning it in school and using it rarely, but oh my! when that book came out it was like cold milk on cornflakes- delicious! It was intriguing, soul-touching, thought provoking- an awesome book. But what is this post about? It’s about me simply encouraging you to find and pursue your purpose. We all have one. If you do not know yours yet, you should do a gift assessment test and some soul-searching. Most churches have their members take these so they can figure out where they can best serve. I know. Most of us are often are too busy to be alone with ourselves one minute to think about what we want. But, what we need is to do exactly that!

So, if you know what you were designed to do, great! Feels good. Right? But if you do not then here are four steps to get you walking out what you were made to do!

Step 1: Do the work to figure out what you are designed to do.

This is a step that only you can do. I encourage you to find some quiet time to be alone and be with you, yourself, and I. Ask yourself what makes you tick, what do you love to do, what would you do with no pay, and if you are already living and doing what you were meant to do. Next, if you are a believer like me, Ask God for direction. Jeremiah 29:11 says God has a plan for his children. A plan to prosper them and not to harm them. To give them a hope and a future (paraphrased). So, if you are like me then you want God’s blessing on your endeavors. Why not get His viewpoint before embarking? The only way to do that is to ask. How can you get the answer without spending time with Him? So, do the work of self-discovery, prayer, communing with God and preparing yourself for the answer. I say prepare because we’ve al heard the stories of people changing fields for purpose or moving and selling everything to follow their purpose. One thing we know is that if God is in it, it will be the best decision ever made. Enjoy this process and don’t beat yourself up if you don’t know right away. Keep seeking and it will come. If God is in it, it’ll bless you.

Step 2: Give in to the call.

Once you know what it is you are to do, give in. I know I had a hard time accepting my purpose. I always knew from a young child that I would work in ministry, yet I’ve fought it for years. I now help in the Spanish ministry and it is an amazing feeling to know I’m helping people reach their goals of learning a new language and connect to Jesus in their language. I also get to walk in what I was meant to do. I knew I was a born leader and encourager, but I was an extroverted introvert. Lol! It’s possible. So, I had to give in to that persistent desire of my soul to help others. Maybe you are like me. You know you are supposed to be doing something, but for some reason haven’t started. Go on. Get started. You’re in for a powerful experience. Answer the call today. You’ll be glad you did.

Step 3: Start working even when you’re not ready

I and another lady wanted to teach a Spanish class. We didn’t have all the materials planned out but we had a plan. That’s all we needed. See, when you are in purpose, things will work out. We got started and had a huge turnout. We had time to get the program together before the first start day. But when we said yes, all we had was our desire to do it. We weren’t ready. We got ready after we said yes. The point is time won’t always wait for us. Opportunities come and go. Jump in their and help if you know God is leading you to do so. Perfection is a hold up. Get started helping as soon as you can. 

Step 4: Be open to new direction and inspiration.

We all have a purpose. That doesn’t mean you’ll have the same one your whole life. It may change or expand. Be open to new urges and sparks of creativity that say move in this direction. Prayer is an integral part of my figuring out where I need to be. So much of what I’ve accomplished is due to that feeling in my spirit that won’t subside. Following the regular route won’t do for that kind of passion. You have to chase it! So be open and go where you know you are supposed to be. Starting this blog was a part of my purpose. It has spiraled into many other opportunities that will come forth in the coming months. They all center in using what I am good at, what I am passionate about, and how they all work together to help others.

It is my hope that you have been encouraged to see what is next for you, what you were meant to do, and how you can begin to set about living your life’s purpose. What’s in you? Bring it out and Do It Anyway!

Kaydy

Love you some you today!

Love you some you today!

It has been a very busy summer here in Texas. I have, however, managed to find time to spoil myself here and there. Now, before you get to thinking I must be selfish, I have found that the little things I do for me make me happier and thus influences those around me to do the same. Finding time to be you is no crime. Needing time and not making a point to do so is. I mean, who wants to be around a crabby person?! I don’t. So, the point of this post is to say to women and men, “When was the last time you treated yourself to something you love?”. If you can’t answer this in 30 seconds, plan something today. My “lovin me” treat is a pedicure. What will yours be?

Ideas to love you some you:

1. Catch a movie alone (I like the matinee. The price and it’s never full)

2. Get a mani/pedi (girls and guys alike)

3. Spruce up the wardrobe by doing some shopping (make a budget)

4. Have a nice lunch or dinner at your fave place

5. You know you better than me, so get going and get to living!

Love you some you today. You and everyone around you will reap the benefits of your self love and care. Life will always be busy. We can find time to fill time. Why not live a little and enjoy it.

Do It Any Way!

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Dating Don’ts for the Single Mom

Dating Don’ts for the Single Mom

Love eludes me  Who needs a man? I do.

Don’t you just love it when people tell you to focus on yourself and your children and life will be bliss. Well, those folks were likely married, and/or in committed relationships, and (bless their hearts) had no idea what you were going through.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe in focusing on my boobas (kiddos) and myself, but at some point you just want to be someone’s special person to love. I’m all smiley faced thinking about “love”. So, what do you do when you’re a single parent AND dating? Well, for one, you take it slow.

Here are a few of my observations on what not to do:

1. Do not make him your husband before time.
You know what I mean. You date him before you introduce him to the kids and you are all smiles. But, he meets your little ones and it’s not a love connection. It’s hard to find a person in the same space as you and willing to take on the responsibility of raising children not his own. (By the way, kudos to all those blended families out there!) But, we absolutely have to keep in mind the “Does he fit us?” question because it’s a package deal. So, before you get goo-goo eyed, make sure you know “who” he is.

2. Do not introduce every guy you date to your kids.
Why is this such a bad idea? Well, this goes without saying, but do you want your kiddos to think you run a Burger King? No, you want them to think you know what you’re doing. That not only are you looking for a life partner but a good parent for them. And each good-looking hunk just is not going to fit the bill. Be cautious, take your time, introduce a guy when you feel it’s the right time and you are “going some where”. The last thing kids need is attachment to “that guy” they liked but never see anymore. You know, what was his name? 🙂

3. Do not forget to have fun.
Enjoy the dating process. This is where you get to pick who and what you want. It’s that simple. Feel free to discontinue early on if you see it will not be a “good fit”. I’m a pro at saying good-bye. I’m not afraid of commitment. I just know what I want. You should too, before you start dating. Then, you can enjoy the process and not have a deadline and wedding plans and clocks ticking biologically. You know, rushing. Relax, see where it goes.

Hope these tips helped someone. I’ve been a single mom a while. I refuse to become un-single as a financial backup plan, to have a ring and big party, or whatever reasons people marry for these days. I want it all. I want the fairytale. I want the guy who “gets” me, worships me (but not really), loves my kiddos, Jesus, and is an all around good man. When he comes, I’ll let you know. Until then, go out and have a good time while you’re single. Remember, you rock!

Dating can be scary, weird, wacky, wonderful…

Do It Anyway!