What about the kids when you break up?

What about the kids when you break up?

Sadly, I am living this right now. About 5 months ago, I parted ways with a boyfriend of a few years. He had become a member of the family. On some level, I thought I’d marry him, but it turned out we were just not the right fit. It happens. I’m over it. My kids still mention him. I have noticed that my nonchalant way of mentioning that I ended things has not been so easy for them. I mean, they played COD with him, laughed at me with him, sided with him, etc. You know, immature boy stuff. And I find they miss him. But, I want no part of him, no mention of him, and don’t think about him. But my negative experience was not their experience. I have to accept snd redpect that.

In light of this, I sat down and had a real honest talk with them. I said “I know you guys like him, but he wasn’t a good fit for me. I tried 3 years and he couldn’t get it together. Don’t I deserve to be happy? Should the new guy in my life have to compete with an old boyfriend because you guys are still connected?” After that discussion, they saw things my way. True, they have no choice because I’m the grownup, but it is important to note their feelings and the level of discomfort it creates for me and potential mates. I also know they will have those fond memories because I allowed the ex in my life and theirs. My doing.

So, this post is to say kids do get attached to the people we date. But, we can’t stay mismatched and connected for the sake of our kids. They need to know sometimes stuff doesn’t work out. I had become so unhappy because he did not support my dreams. You all know how important chasing dreams is to me. Oh no! He had to go! ūüôā

So, may the following lessons I learned bless you:

1. Watch the length of time you date

Sometimes, we just prolong relationships. You must learn to have the gift if good’bye. Everyone isn’t for you no matter how you try. Be willing to check the temperature of the relationship and make the hard move to move on as needed. Only you know the answer.

2. Make sure you both are on the same page

Faith is my most defining value. We have to share the same faith. Discipline and child rearing are important points if contention in relationships and we’re in ours. I’m not saying to run if uou and your boo disagree, but to watch out for non negotiables.

3. Do not remain in relationships that drain you

Draining, depressing, limiting… I can go on. No one should live like that. Let them go. Sign no 1 you are not with your Boaz.

4. Be quick to move on when you know you are not a good fit

I had clues that the fit was iff, but people in my ear combined with his smooth talking and better than the previous guy M.O. had me bound. I admit it. But, I have learned to watch the fruit if who they are not the image we want.
5. Be careful who you let your kids get attached to

Even I can stand to be reminded here. The ex had all the chivalry a woman could stand, all the right mives, and language but didn’t deliver one to one. Was neglectful of us, tried to be demeaning (notice tried. I don’t play that.), and just had signs of being a manipulative … But, he and my boys bonded, had a good time, and he cared for them and they liked him. BUT WE DID NOT FIT. So, now I know from that lesson to really make sure the fit is there first. I let him meet my boys within 2 months. I used to wait 6. There is no perfect timing but we must be cautious and realistic.

6. Keep conversation open with your kids
Of course, here, my language is child appropriate and not too detailed. But, I let them know I want God’s best for me and them. And if I make a move like that to end a relationship, I had good reason.

I, in no way, am trying to place the ex in a bad light. Truth is truth. We were and are not God’s best fit. I knew it. I had to let go. But, he was the first guy I actually introduced to my boys and let be around them for this length of time. He was better in some areas than any guy I had ever dated. That was blinding to the fact that we were not a good fit. It happens. When you see this in your relationships, don’t force it. Let go. We have too many examples of unhappily married folks to continue on with badly fit partners.

Life sucks. Relationships are hard. Single parenting and dating is hard. Breakups are hard.

Do It Anyway!

5 Reasons to be thankful for being alone.

5 Reasons to be thankful for being alone.

As I sit to write this post, I’m reminded that some may think I’ve lost it. I assure you that I have not. Being alone can be tough especially if you parent alone and have to spend the holidays alone. But, I have come to realize over the years that being alone has been the best thing life could have¬†given me (for a season). Let me tell you why, and hopefully, you will see some of your yourself in my experiences below.

1. I get to find out more of who I am.

I moved to Texas and did not date for 3 years. My boys were young and I wanted to focus on raising them. I also wanted to do well at my new job, and I needed space to grow and enjoy my new life. I got closer to God and wouldn’t change a thing about those years. I had no stress. It was¬†a beautiful and¬†much needed time. Truthfully, I was a young single mom and it wasn’t easy, but it was¬†a time filled with peace and new beginnings. When you’ve gone through hell, peace is¬†your most prized¬†possession. So get alone and figure you out. Would you agree?
2. I get to affect my babies positively without interference.

In the absence of the other parent, I know that I have been able to instill my values in my boys.¬†Values that stem from my¬†faith. Had I been in the¬†environment I was, I’m not sure they would have fully picked up just my values. In an effort to not bash their dad, I am just glad they have learned behaviors and values from me. Do you feel the same?
3. I get to figure out what I really want in a mate.

There is nothing like having a few frogs to show you what you really want. Dating allows you time to see what is out there and when what is out there disappoints you, you realize that you have to get¬†real and change what you’re doing. Because I know I want a good man, a godly man, etc. I¬†need to date differently. Every guy that wants my number, is not a potential mate. Only men who, for lack of a better clich√©, “Are on my level” need apply. Time alone has given that to me. I have gained the strength I need to demand excellence, respect, and¬†love. Until you are comfortable being alone with you, how can you truly know what¬†you want?
4. I get to work on my dreams, goals, and passions.

My passions drive me all day. I wake up early thinking about¬†blog topics. I have topic ideas everywhere (no lie). I’m always thinking about Spanish. My single parents and what I want to do with women to inspire, enrich, and connect all these are on my mind. This is the season for me to work these dreams because working on my heart’s desires takes a good bit of my free time and energy. When my Boaz¬†(a Biblical figure and redeemer/God-given husband¬†of Ruth) comes, I’ll be ready because what is in me has been able to come out i.e., my purpose, passion, and mission. This means that¬†I will be¬†happy and ready to receive my good man because I’ve been able to¬†chase my dreams with no regrets. Having him will just add to the jubilation. Right? Right.
5. I get to help others.

Being single affords me the opportunity to make my own schedule, go where I want to go, and help others in need. Helping others includes helping at charities, working on my business to support single moms, helping friends, etc. I get to give back and be proud of  it without feeling guilty. Remember, single hood is for a season and if you use it wisely, it can be a fruitful, blessed time of life.

Do any of these ring a bell with you? Are you now seeing alone time as a plus? I hope so. Television, the media, friends, and family will try to¬†tell you that you need someone on your arm ALL THE TIME. But the truth is what you don’t need is another person who hasn’t figured themselves out. You need time to prepare to be the person you know you are – strong, confident, and emotionally ready to love and live again.

Life is hard. Relationships are hard. But, these things do not¬†have to be. Take time out and get to know YOU. You’ll be glad you did.

Do It Anyway!

Wealth and the single mom

Wealth and the single mom

money jar2

 

I do not claim to have learned all there is to know about wealth. I myself am on a quest for knowledge and the total transformation¬†of my life.¬†Yet, I¬†want to encourage every woman who is not living her financial dream to seek out advice, tips, books, instructors, etc., so they, too, can change their lives. The above picture is my actual change jar. It takes me a year or two to fill with my leftover change.¬†¬†Once it’s full,¬†I take it to one of those machines in the supermarket that counts it for you and collects a small fee in the process.¬†I know. I should take it to my bank. See! I’m not a financial advisor. But, I am a mom who wants to leave a legacy.

Wealth is such¬†a personal thing. I mean it’s relative right? Sure, some inherit it, but somebody somewhere¬†had to first take a chance in the right direction and add in some hard work to build that pile of assets to, in turn, pass along.¬† I truly believe that as long as we have breath, we can change our lives for the better. That includes finances.

The Bible says in Proverbs 13:22 “A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children.” Wow! I want to do that! Don’t you? It may not happen for me or you the way it happened for others, but the truth is we need to start¬†building (if we haven’t already).

I like to listen to a few folks on advice for saving. The Bible says, “There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors”. I say there is confusion in not having a plan. As a single mom, I have seen lack and abundance (my scale may be just getting by). It (life)¬†has been smooth and it has been rocky. But, GOD has kept me and my boys. He has been faithful. Because of this,¬†I like to be faithful with what he gives me. So, I believe that¬†part of wealth creating is giving. I can’t say I always tithe like I want, but I give. I have charities I support.¬†It makes me feel so good inside to help someone else in need. Try it. It’s amazing how even our little is sometimes greater than what some one else has.

If giving money is not feasible, please find time to show your kids how to give back to others by you all doing charitable work. If money is not a problem, consider mentoring other women on wealth creation. We are blessed to be a blessing.

Side note: The sense of¬†entitlement of the¬†youth¬†these days is at an astronomical level. Even my own kids have tried to act as if the world owes the something. I quickly nip that in the bud. I have them help me serve, and I have them give away toys and clothes. I also had them pick out the boy we sponsor in Africa who is around their age. I talk to them about how blessed we are knowing that they don’t fully understand yet. But, I know one day it will be clear. As I work to build something to leave them, I want to leave my wealth to men who know how to handle it and who know the blessing they hold.

So moms, even if it’s five bucks a week, start saving now. Try the change jar idea.¬†Or, refrain from the delicious $5 coffee for a few weeks and watch it add up. We have more than we think even when to us it is not enough. Saving is a family affair. Get everyone in on the conversation. Make it a contest if you can, but by any means, save.

I pray this post blesses you and your family, and you get started on building your empire.

“Saving is hard, and¬†I have bills,” you say.

Do It Anyway!

 

Encouraging thoughts for a discouraging time

Encouraging thoughts for a discouraging time

Encouragement has been hard for me to muster this week. I am usually the first to be bright-eyed and positive. I always have a word for those in need.¬†But, this week was hard for me. Since it was hard for me, I know that it has also been for so many of you. Clearly the issues in the Middle East affecting persecuted Christians, the shooting death of a young black man in Ferguson, MO, and countless other issues in our world affected me. (Maybe they also affected you)¬†As a Christian, my heart hurts for people period. I have and had¬†a deep hurt that just wouldn’t/won’t leave for what is happening to women and children and people period all due to their personal religious beliefs. As an African American woman who is a parent, seeing¬†what happened¬†in Ferguson over the weekend and waiting on confirmation of what happened had me on edge. I was sad for the family, angered by what happened, afraid for my children growing up in a world that shoots before asking questions, etc. I mean, isn’t it normal to hurt for people you don’t know? Well, I think so. I have to live in this world, my kids do, you do and your loved ones. It is outrageous! We should all be upset. Most of us are.

I was so sad that I had to leave social media and pray. In prayer, I was able to remember that GOD truly has all things under control and it is in Him that I put my trust. I know my situation is not that of the parents mourning the loss of their child or the citizens who feel like prisoners in their own city, or the thousands fleeing their homes for fear of death. But, the impact of their trials affected me. It saddened me. My spirit was low. I wanted to help my brothers and sisters. What I could do in that moment was pray. I prayed and that encouraged me.¬†I am so thankful that God is there no matter in what situation we find ourselves. I am so glad that His word is a “lamp to our feet and a light to our path” (Psalm 119:05). His word is life, encouragement, air. So, I come today with no solution to actual problems. I cannot bring anyone back, I cannot provide safety to those who have lost it all, but I can pray that the ONE who has the solution and is able to hide us in His secret place will do so. He can hide us in His arms, in His secret place (Psalm 91).

I have to believe that justice will be served in this life. As in past cases, when it is not, we go on peacefully trying to change laws to protect us and spread awareness to help others. But, we know that in the life to come, God says vengeance is Mine, I shall repay. And it is in that I put my hope. It is not ours to decide what we go through, but we know somehow we will make it. Just knowing that God has it under control puts me at ease. I can keep doing my best in a world that doesn’t always treat people the way they should. I can continue raising my boys to be the best citizens I can and yet teach them to protect themselves against possible police brutality, abuse, misuse of power. I can encourage someone today who is down because I have been and now have hope. Let this be your encouragement in the midst of your day. God will provide. Put your hope in Jesus for He cares for you.

4 Steps to Pursuing Your Purpose

4 Steps to Pursuing Your Purpose

PurposeThe word purpose has been a buzz word ever since Rick Warren wrote The Purpose Driven Life. I mean I remember learning it in school and using it rarely, but oh my! when that book came out it was like cold milk on cornflakes- delicious! It was intriguing, soul-touching, thought provoking-¬†an awesome book. But what is this post about? It’s about me simply encouraging you to find and pursue¬†your purpose. We all have one. If you do not know yours yet, you should do a gift assessment test and some soul-searching. Most churches have their members take these so they can figure out where they can best serve. I know. Most of us are often are too busy to be alone with ourselves¬†one minute to think about what we want. But, what we need is to do exactly that!

So, if you know what you were designed to do, great! Feels good. Right? But if you do not then here are four steps to get you walking out what you were made to do!

Step 1: Do the work to figure out what you are designed to do.

This is a step that only you can do. I encourage you to find some quiet time to be alone and be with you, yourself, and I. Ask yourself what makes you tick, what do you love to do, what would you do with no pay, and if you are already living and doing what you were meant to do. Next, if you are a believer like me, Ask¬†God for direction. Jeremiah 29:11 says God has a plan for his children. A plan to prosper them and not to harm them. To give them a hope and a future (paraphrased). So, if you are like me then you want God’s blessing on your endeavors. Why not get His viewpoint before embarking? The only way to do that is to ask. How can you get the answer without spending time with Him? So, do the work of self-discovery, prayer, communing with God and preparing yourself for the answer. I say prepare because we’ve al heard the stories of people changing fields for purpose or moving and selling everything to follow their purpose. One thing we know is that if God is in it, it will be the best decision ever made. Enjoy this process and don’t beat yourself up if you don’t know right away. Keep seeking and it will come. If God is in it, it’ll bless you.

Step 2: Give in to the call.

Once you know what it is¬†you are to do, give in. I know¬†I had a hard time accepting my purpose. I always¬†knew from a young child that I would work in ministry, yet I’ve fought it for years.¬†I now help in the Spanish ministry and it is an amazing feeling to know I’m helping¬†people reach¬†their goals of learning a new language and connect to Jesus in their language. I also get to¬†walk in what I was meant to do.¬†I knew¬†I¬†was a born leader and encourager, but I¬†was an extroverted introvert. Lol! It’s possible. So,¬†I had to give in to that persistent desire of my soul to help others. Maybe you are like me. You know you are supposed to be doing something, but for some reason haven’t started. Go on. Get started. You’re in for a powerful experience. Answer the call today. You’ll be glad you did.

Step 3: Start working even when you’re not ready

I and another lady wanted to teach a Spanish class. We didn’t have all the materials planned out but we had a plan. That’s all we needed. See, when you are in purpose, things will work out. We got started and had a huge turnout. We had time to get the program together before the first start day. But when we said yes, all we had was our desire to do it. We weren’t ready. We got ready after we said yes. The point is time won’t always wait for us. Opportunities come and go. Jump in their and help if you know God is leading you to do so. Perfection is a hold up. Get started helping as soon as you can.¬†

Step 4: Be open to new direction and inspiration.

We all have a purpose. That doesn’t mean you’ll have the same one your whole life. It may change or expand. Be open to new urges and sparks of creativity that say move in this direction. Prayer is an integral part of my figuring out where I need to be. So much of what I’ve accomplished is due to that feeling in my spirit that won’t subside.¬†Following the regular route won’t do for that kind of passion. You have to chase it! So be open and go where you know you are supposed to be. Starting this blog was a part of my purpose. It has spiraled into many other opportunities that will come forth in the coming months. They all center in using what I am good at, what I am passionate about, and how they¬†all work together to help others.

It is my hope that you have been encouraged to see what is next for you, what you were meant to do, and how you can begin to set about living your life’s purpose.¬†What’s in you? Bring it out and Do It Anyway!

Kaydy

Why do we have Mondays any way?

Why do we have Mondays any way?

Monday’s are really hard. Aren’t they? The getting up and getting going takes a while because the bed was so warm, the sleep was so good, and the weekend¬†so short. The lovely first day of the week calls and get up you must. Work awaits. School awaits. Life awaits. The to-do list- awaits. But, you know what? It’s a blessing to have a job to go to, a dream to work on, a way to provide for your family, and yes, a list to complete. We all know or have heard of those who are less fortunate and wish they had the life-sucking job to go to that you have (attempt at humor), the honey-do list to complete, the deadlines to meet, and the errands to run. Yes, somewhere someone wishes they were you. We don’t know who, but somewhere. Now with that reality check and as the Monday blues dissipate and you get into your day, remember how blessed you are to be right there at this moment. How awesome to use your talent to make¬†your¬†life and that of those around¬†run smoothly.

Now that¬†you are thankful for the state you’re in, I want to encourage you to keep dreaming about that thing you actually desire to do, that trip you want to take, that business you want to start because, frankly,¬†you CAN DO IT. Let this post motivate you through the week to chase your dreams and not take no for an answer. Keep believing that your dreams are worthy, and one day they will be reality.

Monday undeniably can be the worst day of the week, but it is also a sign of newness. You get to start all over and each new Monday holds the promise of being better the next time around. So, get going! What will you do with your new chance at a better week to do what you want, go where you want, dream your dreams?

Monday can be stressful, glorious, new, challenging, bright, but Do It Anyway!

 

Weeding the Garden and Personal Growth: What We Can Learn from a Weed

Weeding the Garden and Personal Growth: What We Can Learn from a Weed

As I was ridding my garden of weeds this week, it dawned on me that they are pretty tough to climb over the mulch and to also survive under two inches of it. I had to move a good deal of mulch in order¬†to get to the weeds’ roots. In the Texas heat, it hit me that tough people are like those weeds. We are the weeds peeking their heads out through all the stuff that holds us down- the mulch of life.¬†This scene spoke to me and¬†I¬†thought how life¬†can be crappy like the mud and bugs in the garden, but if we¬†become like the weeds in my garden, we can overcome anything.

Gardening gives you time to think and brings clarity all while making your yard beautiful.  Here are my lessons learned:

3 things we have in common with weeds:

1. Weeds grow in the dark. That’s us. Our dark times break us but also strengthen us. Somehow the bad brings good if we’ll hold on and go through it. We realize in the end that broken heart from that relationship ending didn’t last so long and thank goodness we’re no longer with “them”. Grow in your dark times. Or, that financial period where we couldn’t pay Peter or Paul let alone rob them showed us how to live within our means. But, during that time it was bleak. Or that health scare that took all we had, yet we sit on the side of a clean bill of health, NOW. All the dark times come to help us enjoy the good times and strangely enough to appreciate the dark as¬† well as the light. Keep growing.

2. Weeds face different predators but survive. Just like the weeds have insects that eat them, humans that want to pull them up, and elements that could care less that they exist, we have to face challenges and challengers to survive. Hang on and stand your ground like the weeds because you will survive.We encounter people and situations that aren’t in our best interest, but we survive just like the weeds do. I’ve had the non supportive family member or the back stabbing co-worker but I made it. You can too. You know, they look like they¬† support you, but they don’t. That’s okay. Be great any way!

3. Weeds take a licking and keep on kicking. We put pesticides on them. They endure the elements (rain, snow, sleet, hail, heat) and yet they push though those hard times to peek there heads out as if to say “We made it!” You can, too! Life sucks, but get up again and try. Just like the heat can’t keep the weeds down, so it is with you and me. If we keep getting up again, we will win. Also, I still had dead roots to dig up in some places because I had previously pulled the top of the weed but not the root. If¬†I were¬†to¬†leave the dead or cut up pieces of weeds in the mulch, I would have weeds again. So,¬†I have to remove the entire weed. Hmmm. Take your licking and if you have to reseed elsewhere, do so. It’ll be a good new place to grow again.

May we all keep growing through the mulch of life and Do It Anyway!

 

9 Lessons Life Has Taught Me

9 Lessons Life Has Taught Me

I have come into my own in my thirties. I know a lot of “twenty-somethings” dread the big 30, but it is truly a great time in life. I say this knowing that I am quickly approaching 40. Yet, I still have a few years before I get the “Oh Lordy, she’s 40” cake. But, in all seriousness, I am approaching a beautiful time in life. I want us as women to stop dreading getting older because we learn something valuable each year as we age. We get better with time in appearance, in wisdom, in our careers, and most importantly in parenting. So, I have compiled a list of 9 lessons I have learned in my own life. I believe they will resonate with you.

1. Take care of yourself.
I get better with time. I know you do, too. It’s just a fact that we are more beautiful and confident in our thirties. No longer a babe or a twenty-something finding her stride, we blossom into “grown woman”. I don’t about you, but I really found my fashion sense in my 30’s. I think I looked good in my 20’s but let’s face it, somethings need to be left in the past like midriffs being out and “too short” shorts. (Ikr) After my first child, I immediately felt ashamed of “short” anything. After all, I was a mom now. I really started eating better and wearing makeup (here and there) in my 30’s. I learned how to properly workout. Gone are the days of fine with no work. So, in short, take care of your skin, eat right, exercise, get rest, and leave the little clothes to the little girls. It will bless you now and later.
2. Be authentic.
I know who I am now. I feel like I have always known, yet I was not okay with being different. I was and still am “different”. I never ran with the crowd, never wanted to do the “cool” thing, and now I know that I made the right choice. I can without any qualms be authentic and stare any onlooker in the face and say “So what!”. Take it or leave it. I’m me and being me with my quirks is A-okay.
3. Chase your goals.
I know what I want to do in my career. I have always had a knack for talking. I’m an encourager, and I love to read. I’m curious and research is cool to me. None of those descriptions add up to Spanish teacher, but that’s what I do. I also do other things besides that like encourage single parents and that is a passion I know I’ll always chase along with a myriad if other things. Who says you have to do one thing? That dream that won’t die keeps nagging you for a reason. Chase it. It’ll free you.
4. Create the family you desire.
I know I want a whole family (mom and dad at the helm). I always knew this. I didn’t always make the choices that lined up with what I wanted. I know better now. In life and love, be courageous and ask. No, demand what you want. You’ll weed out who doesn’t belong and have room for who does. Amen.
5. Go when others do not see the path.
Sometimes people will think you’re nuts. That’s okay. That spark in you must be allowed to grow into passion. Chase it. You’ll be happy. When I left mortgages to be a Spanish teacher, my family said “for what?” Now, they can’t help but brag to people who could care less that I have my Masters. I didn’t do it for them. I did it for me. Be comfortable going alone. The rest will catch up.
6. Be brave.
I moved to Texas to chase a dream. It was the best move I ever made. I was fearless as a single mom with small boys. I was fearless because I had peace that God had opened that door. Be sensitive to the direction your life needs to go in, bite the bullet, and go.
7. Be available.
In your growing, chasing dreams and staying fabulous, be available to your babies. My years of working on my Masters are a blur and at the same time a joy. I say a blur because it was hard. A joy because Zi love learning and it’s a big accomplishment. I made it. My boys made it. But to say I was as present mentally as I should have been would be an understatement. Tired was the place I lived. I took breaks and had family time, but it was a time of sacrifice. I made a deal with them that they couldn’t do sports in those three years but after I finished they could. I made good on that promise. It just was not possible to do due to my taking three grad classes every semester and working full-time. I now see I was crazy. Lol! What was I thinking! Praise God we made it.
8. Being alone is better than being in the wrong relationship.
In love, you have to look out for you. Choose the best from the start and you can avoid some unnecessary lessons. I had to grow up in my twenties quickly as a single mom. I didn’t know how to date. But, Lord have I figured it out now! Simply put, If he does not bring peace to me and my house, he is not a good fit. He has to love me and my boys. We come together. No exceptions. I’d rather be alone than spend my precious time on a “temporary man”. Older women are attractive because we’ve figured out what we want and don’t want. Most importantly, we’re not afraid to say it.
9. Do It Anyway
This last lesson is key! Life is hard. Single parenting is hard. Building a company or chasing a dream will be hard. If it’s your dream, you owe it to yourself to see it to the end. Many may not come to help you, do it anyway. Do it alone, with tears in your eyes, broke, tired, hungry, but do it. You’ll find out how strong you are and that God really does make a way.

May what I’ve learned inspire you to keep going no matter what season you are in. Life truly is beautiful and you really rock! Remember that.

Kaydy

We Owe It To Our Kids

We Owe It To Our Kids

I’m in education and one of the things I see often in our youth is a sense of entitlement. I hear it from my friends and colleagues as we discuss our experiences. I hear it in my church, in the malls, out and about in life- I hear it. Kids today have strong sense of entitlement. We owe it to our kids to teach them how to survive on their own, to teach them life skills beyond what they get in school, to teach them to be appreciative of people and of what they have. I live in the U.S- the greatest country on Earth because we are FREE. Our kids should walk around knowing they are free and what a price people have paid and continue to pay for that freedom. They should not walk around oblivious to this freedom and allowed to think that they deserve to be spoiled and given an iPhone 5 “just because”. I mean, where did this start? Who started it? It is detrimental. The students say they do not need to learn because “My parents will buy me ____”, “My parents will pay for my ____”, etc. When will it end!? It won’t, unless WE do something.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t buy nice things for our children. I’m saying we have a problem when our children value those things over people, over relationships, over gaining knowledge, over us. So what if your child is not happy or throws a temper tantrum, we are called to shape them, guide them, grow them up to be responsible adults. We were not called to spoil and make them absolutely lazy that they depend on us far longer than they should. You know, the “failure to launch” kids. Those kids are at home because momma and daddy, mommy, or daddy did not lead them in the way that they should go. I am simply saying that teaching our children to value hard work is a necessary not a maybe. Teaching our kids to do their best ALL THE TIME is a necessary not a maybe. Teaching our kids respect is a necessary and not a maybe.

We owe it to our kids to be the best we can be and to teach them that working to be their very best has honor, has value, is their destiny. Doing anything else is mediocrity at best. I cannot stand mediocrity. Growing up lower class (catch that), I had a problem with mediocrity. I knew that just because I didn’t have the best of everything did not mean I wasn’t capable of doing my best (My grandmother instilled that early on). I pass this on to my boys. I refuse to let my children lose by temporarily allowing them to think they’ve won by wearing a certain brand of clothing, driving a certain car, or wielding a certain phone. In my house, my boys will learn true worth is more than what they possess.

Parenting is tough. Single parenting is tough. Do It Anyway!