Why Moving On is All You Can Do

Why Moving On is All You Can Do

It’s the new year and new love springs forth, some old loves have fizzled, and the “rock steady’s” are still in love. Wherever you are on the love continuum, remember, it’s a process. Everything is a season, and sometimes seasons end. Sometimes when we’re hurt or sad about and end, we want to wallow in it. Sometimes, we miss the memo that the mourning period is over and it’s (been) time to move on. If you’re there, I encourage you to take time to grieve, breathe, and heal. But then, MOVE ON. All that is meant for you will STAY. You won’t have to beg, borrow, or plead with him or her. It’ll be peaceful. You’ll know it.

Real love won’t leave. Mature people get that. People seeking love and who know how to love they also know how to nurture it, respect it. You won’t have unrequited love or crazy love when LOVE really comes. So guess what, moving on is what you need to do.

If you had a facsimile of love, know that you’re due the REAL deal. See it, believe it, wait on it, and LIVE your life NOW. Sometimes, you just gotta move on and LIVE. Sure, that person was amazing and you messed up. LIVE! What would you gain going back to dysfunctional, depressing, “missing something”, “not quite right”, etc,? I’m waiting… (Taps fingers on desk) Right! Nada! Go on and LIVE! Put on your big boy or big girl undies and move on. Go be you! Take the lessons you learned as guideposts and do better next time around. DO NOT miss life looking back. LIVE! You have love to give. You just gotta find who wants it. And trust me, you have a match out there.

Life sucks sometimes. Love hurts sometimes. Letting go is hard.

Do It Anyway!

Encouraging thoughts for a discouraging time

Encouraging thoughts for a discouraging time

Encouragement has been hard for me to muster this week. I am usually the first to be bright-eyed and positive. I always have a word for those in need. But, this week was hard for me. Since it was hard for me, I know that it has also been for so many of you. Clearly the issues in the Middle East affecting persecuted Christians, the shooting death of a young black man in Ferguson, MO, and countless other issues in our world affected me. (Maybe they also affected you) As a Christian, my heart hurts for people period. I have and had a deep hurt that just wouldn’t/won’t leave for what is happening to women and children and people period all due to their personal religious beliefs. As an African American woman who is a parent, seeing what happened in Ferguson over the weekend and waiting on confirmation of what happened had me on edge. I was sad for the family, angered by what happened, afraid for my children growing up in a world that shoots before asking questions, etc. I mean, isn’t it normal to hurt for people you don’t know? Well, I think so. I have to live in this world, my kids do, you do and your loved ones. It is outrageous! We should all be upset. Most of us are.

I was so sad that I had to leave social media and pray. In prayer, I was able to remember that GOD truly has all things under control and it is in Him that I put my trust. I know my situation is not that of the parents mourning the loss of their child or the citizens who feel like prisoners in their own city, or the thousands fleeing their homes for fear of death. But, the impact of their trials affected me. It saddened me. My spirit was low. I wanted to help my brothers and sisters. What I could do in that moment was pray. I prayed and that encouraged me. I am so thankful that God is there no matter in what situation we find ourselves. I am so glad that His word is a “lamp to our feet and a light to our path” (Psalm 119:05). His word is life, encouragement, air. So, I come today with no solution to actual problems. I cannot bring anyone back, I cannot provide safety to those who have lost it all, but I can pray that the ONE who has the solution and is able to hide us in His secret place will do so. He can hide us in His arms, in His secret place (Psalm 91).

I have to believe that justice will be served in this life. As in past cases, when it is not, we go on peacefully trying to change laws to protect us and spread awareness to help others. But, we know that in the life to come, God says vengeance is Mine, I shall repay. And it is in that I put my hope. It is not ours to decide what we go through, but we know somehow we will make it. Just knowing that God has it under control puts me at ease. I can keep doing my best in a world that doesn’t always treat people the way they should. I can continue raising my boys to be the best citizens I can and yet teach them to protect themselves against possible police brutality, abuse, misuse of power. I can encourage someone today who is down because I have been and now have hope. Let this be your encouragement in the midst of your day. God will provide. Put your hope in Jesus for He cares for you.

Love you some you today!

Love you some you today!

It has been a very busy summer here in Texas. I have, however, managed to find time to spoil myself here and there. Now, before you get to thinking I must be selfish, I have found that the little things I do for me make me happier and thus influences those around me to do the same. Finding time to be you is no crime. Needing time and not making a point to do so is. I mean, who wants to be around a crabby person?! I don’t. So, the point of this post is to say to women and men, “When was the last time you treated yourself to something you love?”. If you can’t answer this in 30 seconds, plan something today. My “lovin me” treat is a pedicure. What will yours be?

Ideas to love you some you:

1. Catch a movie alone (I like the matinee. The price and it’s never full)

2. Get a mani/pedi (girls and guys alike)

3. Spruce up the wardrobe by doing some shopping (make a budget)

4. Have a nice lunch or dinner at your fave place

5. You know you better than me, so get going and get to living!

Love you some you today. You and everyone around you will reap the benefits of your self love and care. Life will always be busy. We can find time to fill time. Why not live a little and enjoy it.

Do It Any Way!

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Why do we have Mondays any way?

Why do we have Mondays any way?

Monday’s are really hard. Aren’t they? The getting up and getting going takes a while because the bed was so warm, the sleep was so good, and the weekend so short. The lovely first day of the week calls and get up you must. Work awaits. School awaits. Life awaits. The to-do list- awaits. But, you know what? It’s a blessing to have a job to go to, a dream to work on, a way to provide for your family, and yes, a list to complete. We all know or have heard of those who are less fortunate and wish they had the life-sucking job to go to that you have (attempt at humor), the honey-do list to complete, the deadlines to meet, and the errands to run. Yes, somewhere someone wishes they were you. We don’t know who, but somewhere. Now with that reality check and as the Monday blues dissipate and you get into your day, remember how blessed you are to be right there at this moment. How awesome to use your talent to make your life and that of those around run smoothly.

Now that you are thankful for the state you’re in, I want to encourage you to keep dreaming about that thing you actually desire to do, that trip you want to take, that business you want to start because, frankly, you CAN DO IT. Let this post motivate you through the week to chase your dreams and not take no for an answer. Keep believing that your dreams are worthy, and one day they will be reality.

Monday undeniably can be the worst day of the week, but it is also a sign of newness. You get to start all over and each new Monday holds the promise of being better the next time around. So, get going! What will you do with your new chance at a better week to do what you want, go where you want, dream your dreams?

Monday can be stressful, glorious, new, challenging, bright, but Do It Anyway!

 

Negativity Has To Go

Negativity Has To Go

I have learned to use my gifts. One of my gifts is “The Gift of Good-bye”. You say, “Is that really a gift?” No, but I use my power to remove negative people from my space. It is amazing how people will drain you with their negative outlook. I’m not saying we can’t have bad moments. I’m saying that if your negative “moment” has turned into your overall disposition, then you are not welcome in my circle. Parenting, single parenting, and life in general are hard enough. Get rid of negative people! I don’t mean you have to say to them, “Bye Nancy! You’re too negative”, but, you do need to separate yourself from them for a while. Help them if you can. But, if you cannot, separate. Life is too short to be burdened with negativity. You were made to soar, to live life to the full. If they don’t want to join you, cut them lose (in a nice way).

I have learned to release people and feed them with a “long handled spoon”. This translates as “be cordial, but don’t share your hopes, dreams, and personal problems with them”. These folks are not in your life to lift you up. Only to slow you down.

Too scared to cut them off? Do It Anyway!

I can feel the peace in the air. Don’t you feel better?

Time Stealers

Time Stealers

Be careful of time stealers. We can never get our time back. These may be people, entertainment, unexpected interruptions that are minor, etc. Set a plan, focus on the task at hand, and execute it. As single parents, time is very precious to us. Do you have to sign up for that thing? Does your kid have to be in that thing? No. There is only one of you. And if you have free time, spend some with the ones who matter most and take time to relax and prepare for the journey ahead. Balance and finding balance as a single parent can seem impossible. But, it isn’t. Usually, we have some time stealers present, and we have to learn to let them go.

Are you someone’s time stealer? Or, are you allowing your time to be stolen? Think about it. On the journey of life, we must do our best to make the most impact. Time is a precious commodity.

Time stealers knocking on your door? Don’t answer! You’ve got a family to raise and a mark to make!

Do It Anyway- Kaydy

The best things start out as the worst

The best things start out as the worst

Just thinking before I turn in for the night how some of my proudest moments came after some really hard-fought battles. Lesson: Life is no bed of roses, people will not be nice to you because you’re nice to them, and wishes are wastes of time unless you do something with them. But, you can win. I did. See, that’s the thing- it’s hard but once we stand up to the storm, it stops. Whatever your storm- financial issues, work issues, family, etc., look it in the eye and say “I won’t back down.”.

Fight for you!
Push through the storm!
Smile when you feel like crying.
It’ll get better. I promise.
Life is hard…

Do It Any Way!

Why loving you is so important

Why loving you is so important

We constantly hear about the stress Americans are under and that people need to lose weight in order to maximize their lives. Those messages can be daunting and also inspiring to get up and change for the better. In the area of health, we pretty much know what to do. But, what about in the area of emotional health. Are you happy? If not, how can you start making changes? Well, you need to decide you want better and look to see what you are doing and what exactly is helping or harming you. Specifically, I want to know what have you done for YOU. Really. What do you do that allows you to woosah (relax), find your peace, enjoy your life? If you are having a hard time putting into words what you do for YOU, then you may not be doing anything. I want you to stop that NOW.

Stepping back and breathing is so important. Take stock of what and who you have, what you have on your plate, and what really needs to be done is so key to balance. In this new year of promise, I have decided to reflect as often as I can on what I am doing. To help you reflect, ask these questions:

1. Is it helping me?
2
. Can I do this differently?
3. Can/Should I cut something out?

And lastly,
4. Does it add value?

Number 4 is so key. If you are involved in activities that are not adding value. Seriously, you need to rethink how you are spending your time. If it is a relationship, extra work, attending or assisting with events because you can’t say NO, etc., you need to get quiet and reflect on a time when you were happy. Bring some of those activities back. If you are not adding value, but are busy, you are just busy. Make sure it counts if you do it.

Loving you will be easier when your schedule has been de-cluttered. Loving you will make you happy. Don’t look for other people to do that for you. It will only disappoint you. Loving you will help you understand others better and be more attuned to what other people are feeling. Loving you is attractive. There is a certain confidence a man or woman projects that attracts people because he/she is sure of themselves. No one walks up to unsure people. They walk up to those that look put together and have a certain “je ne-sais quoi”. Happy is attractive!

So, besides taking care of your health being a part of loving you, loving you will make you happy, add peace, give you confidence, attract friendships. It’s a win-win. Get to your happy!

Life is hard. Do it any way.- Kaydy