5 Challenges to being a single mom to boys during the teen years

5 Challenges to being a single mom to boys during the teen years

As my boys enter the teen years, I have begun to see changes in them. And in me. No one wants to see their kids go in different directions than originally planned when you first held them in your arms; but, sometimes, they do. I am witnessing the “Twilight Zone”. Some of you may be there with me. You know, the monosyllabic responses, no more hugs (because hugs are for little boys), and the “I heard you the first time but I will clean up when I feel like it”. (Previous items thought and not spoken of course. Mama don’t play that). Yet, I go through it because I love them, and I know deep down that this is “their” journey and not mine. I have to let them make some mistakes to learn. After all, isn’t that how we got to be so wise as adults?

Challenge 1: Not answering that urge to pop them when they say something smart.
Challenge 2: Not answering that urge to pop them when they say something smart.
Challenge 3: Not answering that urge to pop them when they say something smart.
Challenge 4: Not answering that urge to pop them when they say something smart.
Challenge 5: Not answering that urge to pop them when they say something smart.

Yes, I noticed all my challenges are the same. And yes, currently, this is my hardest task. I remind myself they are boys becoming men. Hormones are raging and things are happening to them that they do not quite understand. And the Lord knows that neither do I. This is why I have sought out mentors. I’m placing good godly men in their lives. I make sure to keep them in physical activities so that they can let out that steam. Is it easy? No! I cry inside missing my babies. Yet, this is new frontier and we have to brave it together. Discipline does happen at my house. I take things like ALL the ELECTRONICS. And there is no returning them until politeness and actual speaking English to me and not mumbling has returned. Let’s face it. My kids are almost as tall as me and one is bigger, so spanking went away a while ago. But, what I do is talk to them and let them know why they are losing their beloved toys. I call them on their bad attitudes and remind them that we operate in respect in this house. Is it easy? No. But, I have been a teenager before and this is how I know they will survive and so will I. Got the above challenges in your home? Do the work and assess what needs to be removed to get order back. I have some peace right now and it feels good. It’s amazing what no Call of Duty or PS3 will do for the morale in your home. I also recognize that they need someone to talk to about guy stuff and life as a teen. I’m not capable of fully understanding and guiding them in that department although I do my best. I will see them through this even if all my hair goes gray. Challenges come. We nor our kids are perfect. Dig in, do your best, and refuse to lose.

On the road of life, nothing is easy. Do It Any Way!

Kaydy

What Does a Hard Time Have to Do with Flowers?

What Does a Hard Time Have to Do with Flowers?

This post is not about parenting per se. It’s about working on your life’s outlook. Having a great outlook helps you become a more balanced parent. Most importantly, this post is about not thinking your life is useless.

Life is crazy. It’ll throw a bad moment right behind a great triumph. It’ll seemingly place a moment in time (that seems to last forever) right behind. But, it is still so worth it. Life is hard. Life is scary, challenging, and gut-wrenching at times. But, it’s worth it. I hate when I hear people say they cannot do life or can’t take it anymore. The truth is that they can. What they should say is “I don’t want to endure this anymore”. But, we CAN take it and get past it and conquer it. Whatever it is. We’ve just got to get in the right space. If all one dwells on is negative then there will be no solution. You’ve got to think positive, wrap your mind around another idea. If you can’t, it’s time to get help from a friend who can look at it differently with less tired eyes. I’m not saying thinking positive will solve the problem, bring that person back, or pay your bills. But, it will help you get to a place of clarity and then only can you work on a better solution for you. But, life is worth it. You are worth it.

When times are good, we’re good. When times are bad, we fall apart. Why don’t we prepare for the inevitable? I don’t know. But, we need to remind ourselves when trouble comes to see life differently because life is beautiful. I challenge you to change the channel if it depresses you, change friends if they don’t support you, drop that love interest if they don’t love you. But see life as the beautiful, complex gift that it is. You only get one. Don’t let anyone or anything make you think less of your time here on Earth. You are unique and uniquely designed to soar. Life is not a bed of roses, but it sure sends the most beautiful bouquets from time to time. The bouquets are those sprinkled moments of joy that you have to experience for yourself. Keep living to see what delivery awaits you!

Life’s hard. Do It Anyway!