Take your kids places.

Take your kids places.

I know many of us are on budgets, and taking a big trip can be costly. So, my advice is to start small. I don’t know about your kids, but my boys are Boys with a capital B. It seems like no matter where we go, they act like teenage boys. Lol! I take them anyway. One day I know all that exposure will shape their world view. And I’m hoping to have non close-minded boys who respect others and appreciate the world they live in. That’s what we do as parents- we shape good people. It’s not easy, they push back, we parent anyway. The greatest job and the toughest right? 

When your kids start to drive you nuts, do like I used to do. When my babies cried, I distracted them. You know when your 8 month old wants to be held, they’re not wet, they just ate, and you’re cleaning the kitchen in from of them in their play pen. I would distract them with a song or a silly face, make them laugh and they’d forget to pout. So, when my boys are antsy, it’s time to get out and have some fun together.

I wish you could hear me laughing as I type this because I recall their antics as small boys and now as teens. I wish you could see my frustration when they are playing around instead of embracing the experience I worked very hard to plan for them. Yet again, I know they will be better for it. So, we go anyway! I try not to get caught up in how I think they’re valuing the experience. When I ask them later how they enjoyed the event, they say they enjoyed themselves. So parents, even when they aren’t listening to classical music and loving it the way you think they should (or like you are), they still appreciate you and the experience. It may never be their cup of tea and that is okay!

So, if you need ideas for low cost things to do to improve your kids’ outlook on life, knowledge base, appreciation of various cultures, and to keep your sanity, read on.

Places to consider taking your kids:

1. Multi-cultural fairs or events

I live in Dallas, so I have a lot of options. If you do not, consider taking an inexpensive day trip. These can have no fed to a small cost, they provide exposure just watching television won’t give them. Arts and crafts and music. All good stuff. You don’t have to be from that culture to go. 

2. Various outdoor and indoor markets (i.e. Farmers Markets, Hispanic or Asian markets, etc.)

Mine like to touch everything and I spend a lot of time giving them the side-eye (the I raised you better look). But, at least they learn about fresh food and healthy eating. Spring is coming. Look up one today and plan your outing. The kids are never to old for these!

3. Concerts, plays, shows (free and paid)

I especially like to take them to see African American plays that do not have a lot of antics so they can see we too are artistic. I find the nosebleed tickets (cause that’s what my purse allows) and we go. It’s the experience, not the cost. 

I also take them to see shows with a diverse cast. My goal is to discuss history with them and current events. Art is beautiful. I don’t care who makes it. Let’s enjoy it!

Also, some school plays have rivaled Broadway for me. So, do not discount local or even school shows as options. The key here is spending time. I’ll say it again. The key is spending time together. 

4. Nice restaurants 

I am a mess hater. I can’t stand food wasted on things. My youngest has not yet figured out that he leaves food in his wake. So I them table manners they’ll need for business lunches one day. (It has not yet worked, but I am not giving up. Lol!) I try anyway!

5. The beach 

If you are land-locked, you must touch the sand eith your toes. I took mine to Destin, Fl a few years back for less than $500. It’s called drive, shop online for a good hotel and a good price, take a cooler and pack snacks. I HAVE to save money. Know what I mean? So, if money is no object or you have a nice budget, use it. What kid doesn’t love water? I’ll wait. All of them do! 

6. Camps 

I leap at the chance to send mine to camps. Yes, I love them. Yes, I enjoy myself when they’re gone. No, I do not feel bad about that statement. You shouldn’t either. We need “Mommy Breaks” to be at our best! 

Most camps have scholarships- so ask before you say you can’t afford it. And payment plans exist. I of course recommend you do the due diligence  to make sure you trust the place and then work your plan.

I send mine to church camp and they have a great time. They’ve also done a science camp with their school. I like projects where they learn to help others so mine will be doing outreach this summer with a church camp. Again, I’m doing my part to raise well-rounded men. It may or may not go to plan, but I’m doing my part.

If you can afford camps, let your kids have those experiences. It will bless you and them.

Well, I hope you enjoyed the post and got some ideas to take the kiddos out!

Talk to me below and share what you’ve done with your kiddos or add some other suggestions for us to use!

Kaydy

Our kids have personality. That’s okay!

Our kids have personality. That’s okay!

Parenting is tough. Whether you’re a single parent or you have help, I’m sure you’ll admit that this is the one job that you can’t fall asleep on (Hopefully none of us sleep at work). But, it is ever changing and full of surprises.

When I became a new mom, I was excited and afraid at the same time. I had my ideas on how I would raise my kids mostly built on what I had seen and heard in my own environment. None of this is bad, but as they grew, I needed to adapt.

See, what worked for me, just doesn’t work for my boys. Are you and your kids there? Are you wondering why they don’t behave the way you did when you were a kid? Well, truth is they aren’t you, times have changed, and they are not you. So, what will you do about it? Will you continue to talk about how you were or will you see them for who they are?

Adapting does not mean lack of parenting, but it means you are allowing life to do what it does- show you its unexpected beauty in the stuff you can’t control. It’s wonderful that your kids have personality, their own ideas, and drives. Let them! Be okay with that. Of course, still shape and guide them. But, as they age, their personality will come through and I warn you- It may be very opposite of how you dreamed. That’s okay! Allow them to grow into who they are.
Do you really want replicas of you? Nah, you want to help mold some awesome babies into beautiful, brilliant, and brave young men and women. There is no book for that (Well, technically there are). Trial and error is usually how this goes infused with a lot of love.

Let their little lights shine no matter how different they are. I have two quirky, athletic, goofy, messy, smart, hilarious boys who I hope one day become men very happy in their own skin.

Letting go of the reigns is tough. I know.

Do It Anyway!

Self-Esteem. It’s not just a cool word.

Self-Esteem. It’s not just a cool word.

I had the pleasure of speaking to some young Tweens a few weeks ago. My topic was having great self-esteem and a winning attitude. It was amazing. It was amazing because I got to pour into them, but they also poured into me. I remember being their age and dreaming big. It was good to see their enthusiasm and then to hear them say from their mouths that they believed in themselves. I talked to them about “Do It Anyway!” – my motto for living. Whether they will remember that day or not remains to be seen. I hope they walked away loving themselves a little more and were encouraged to win no matter what life brings. We role-played and did Q&A’s. They were shy but we made it.

I won’t forget that day. I enjoyed sharing my wealth from the hard knocks of life. May you be inspired as well to love you fiercely, never take no as the final answer, and to chase every dream you know God has given you.

Some folks may never see the beauty you are. That’s okay. Love you anyway. You may not win every challenge. Try anyway! Doing your best every time may be hard. Do It Anyway!
Some one needs your light, your energy, your talent. Share it anyway!

Having the talk with your kids.

Having the talk with your kids.

I don’t know about you, but I freaked out for weeks trying to get the nerve up to talk to my boys about sex. Their school wanted to show them a video on puberty, but I wasn’t ready yet. Sound familiar? Lol. All about me! Up to this point, they knew God put the babies in mommy’s belly. What was I to do!

Take a Listen to see what I said as I was interviewed by Shon Hyneman and his wife Londina for their podcast “The Doctor of Love Show”. Shon and Londina are doing great work to help singles and married folk navigate relationships in a healthy way. Check them out! @ShonHyneman @1NurseLove on Twitter and on their blog Neveragainministries.com

 Talk back to me. What do you think? 

Best wishes on the journey! Parenting is not easy. 

Do It Anyway!

5 Reasons Why You Need Organization

5 Reasons Why You Need Organization

I have been paying close attention to myself and others as I grow as an entrepreneur and delve deeper into my gifts and encourage others in theirs. It has become evident that if I and if You do no get organized, the purpose we are called to fulfill will not get done. l don’t care if it concerns work, family, church, athletics, or cleaning the house. If we are not organized or have a plan, we will fail. Sure, some succeed. I mean lets face it, most of us have learned how to knock things out in the home stretch (procrastinate). But what about not stressing and being successful? Wouldn’t that be nice! So, if you said yes, let’s get serious and get organized.

5 Reasons why you need to get organized:

1. You get more done
Not saying anything new here. We just need to be productive. Lack of organization messes with your mental space. If the physical is a “hot mess” you will get nada done. Clear the cutter. Then, you will see how easy and stress less it is to be creative and work better. Knowing where everything is and being able to grab it without a possee is a good feeling. So, get organized, so you can get more done.

2. The quality of your work increases
I don’t know about you, but when I am organized, I can do a million more things. I’m the kind of person that needs the kitchen clean first in order to cook. I clean as I go along cooking so there’s less mess at the end. But when I sit to write, I also have to have my writing area clean. I need quiet. I need all my supplies. I need time, do I’ve carved it out. What about you? Do you know what you need in order to be more productive? Try organization. I bet you will never go back to working in a tornado again. Lol! You know what I mean. The desk that has everything on it but what you need. Fix it asap.

3. You avoid distraction
Oh this one right here is good! All that clutter=distraction. Pictures and cell phones and email, etc. will distract you. Remove them. Turn off the TV. Get organized and decide what your thinking space must have and what it cannot have. You need focus and distraction is the enemy of focus. Get organized and you’ll avoid distraction. Make a point to remove all distractions.

4. You can adjust quickly if needed
If you need to switch gears to work on another task, you can do so easily because you are??? #organized Yep, not a hard one here. Get yourself together. Carve out your time and you will be able to complete one task and move on to the next. No looking for the next thing. It’s already penciled in to be next. It’s already neatly laid put or filed.

5. Clarity
Being organized breeds clarity. It’s true. Once you have your schedule set and space clear, you will find it easy to get clear on what your good ideas are and what you should do next. I don’t know what you need, but I know you can get clear quicker in a clean environment.

So, I hope you have been inspired to get it together. There is still so much to discuss on this topic, but get organized so you can experience these five. You don’t have to work so hard. Get the things done in yo uh know you need to, so life can be smooth.

Whether it’s with your kids, on your job, or in your own business, organization is crucial to your success.

It takes time. It’s not easy to change your ways.

Do It Anyway!

5 Reasons to be thankful for being alone.

5 Reasons to be thankful for being alone.

As I sit to write this post, I’m reminded that some may think I’ve lost it. I assure you that I have not. Being alone can be tough especially if you parent alone and have to spend the holidays alone. But, I have come to realize over the years that being alone has been the best thing life could have given me (for a season). Let me tell you why, and hopefully, you will see some of your yourself in my experiences below.

1. I get to find out more of who I am.

I moved to Texas and did not date for 3 years. My boys were young and I wanted to focus on raising them. I also wanted to do well at my new job, and I needed space to grow and enjoy my new life. I got closer to God and wouldn’t change a thing about those years. I had no stress. It was a beautiful and much needed time. Truthfully, I was a young single mom and it wasn’t easy, but it was a time filled with peace and new beginnings. When you’ve gone through hell, peace is your most prized possession. So get alone and figure you out. Would you agree?
2. I get to affect my babies positively without interference.

In the absence of the other parent, I know that I have been able to instill my values in my boys. Values that stem from my faith. Had I been in the environment I was, I’m not sure they would have fully picked up just my values. In an effort to not bash their dad, I am just glad they have learned behaviors and values from me. Do you feel the same?
3. I get to figure out what I really want in a mate.

There is nothing like having a few frogs to show you what you really want. Dating allows you time to see what is out there and when what is out there disappoints you, you realize that you have to get real and change what you’re doing. Because I know I want a good man, a godly man, etc. I need to date differently. Every guy that wants my number, is not a potential mate. Only men who, for lack of a better cliché, “Are on my level” need apply. Time alone has given that to me. I have gained the strength I need to demand excellence, respect, and love. Until you are comfortable being alone with you, how can you truly know what you want?
4. I get to work on my dreams, goals, and passions.

My passions drive me all day. I wake up early thinking about blog topics. I have topic ideas everywhere (no lie). I’m always thinking about Spanish. My single parents and what I want to do with women to inspire, enrich, and connect all these are on my mind. This is the season for me to work these dreams because working on my heart’s desires takes a good bit of my free time and energy. When my Boaz (a Biblical figure and redeemer/God-given husband of Ruth) comes, I’ll be ready because what is in me has been able to come out i.e., my purpose, passion, and mission. This means that I will be happy and ready to receive my good man because I’ve been able to chase my dreams with no regrets. Having him will just add to the jubilation. Right? Right.
5. I get to help others.

Being single affords me the opportunity to make my own schedule, go where I want to go, and help others in need. Helping others includes helping at charities, working on my business to support single moms, helping friends, etc. I get to give back and be proud of  it without feeling guilty. Remember, single hood is for a season and if you use it wisely, it can be a fruitful, blessed time of life.

Do any of these ring a bell with you? Are you now seeing alone time as a plus? I hope so. Television, the media, friends, and family will try to tell you that you need someone on your arm ALL THE TIME. But the truth is what you don’t need is another person who hasn’t figured themselves out. You need time to prepare to be the person you know you are – strong, confident, and emotionally ready to love and live again.

Life is hard. Relationships are hard. But, these things do not have to be. Take time out and get to know YOU. You’ll be glad you did.

Do It Anyway!

Support Single Moms. Buy a tee. Discounts await.

Support Single Moms. Buy a tee. Discounts await.

Hi! I hope you had a fabulous Thanksgiving. I know I did. I cooked, hung out with my boys, and ate loads of food. Now, I am working on my dream of impacting single moms all over the world. To bring the vision to life, I started a campaign on Tee Spring. Proceeds will help host workshops and provide safe places for single moms to gather vent, connect, and thrive. Will you have a look and see if there is a tee for you or someone you know? I have a tee for every age and designed them with you in mind. Cick here —> http://teespring.com/stores/the-do-it-anyway-store

As you can see from the blog, I am passionate about living on purpose and never giving up. I want to spread that motivation and provide a place for single moms to come to be inspired. For you, I am selling the shirts at a discount because you are a faithful blog reader and social media follower. Use codes DIANOV and DIAFRI for free shipping and $5 off the tees of your choice! Happy Shopping!

XOXO,

Kaydy

Teaching kids to be thankful

Teaching kids to be thankful

The topic of thankfulness is in season. Who doesn’t want their kids to show appreciation, gratitude, and be sincerely thankful? We all do. Right? Well, I find in today’s overly connected world of technology, the response I get from my kids always includes them being thankful for on the surface things like video games and family. I want them to really be able to express thankfulness, and I know that comes with time, growth, and experience more than the ones I can give them. Eventhough we are not solely responsible, you and I must continue to show them how to be thankful.

Here are some questions to ask your kids on today:
1. What are 3 things you are thankful for in your life right now?
2. What if you lost every physical possession, what would you be thankful for that remained?
3. How can you snd I help others, this season, that do not have clothing, shelter, etc.?

The answers to these questions will let you know what your child needs to work on in the area of kindness, sharing, gratitude, etc. As with my boys, I’m prepared for “I don’t know” . Be prepared to guide them and to DO something with them to show what gratitude looks like. So often we judge this generation for not knowing. We must show and tell them.

May you and yours have a beautiful Thanksgiving. May you learn and make new traditions together! And remember to hug each other tight.

XOXO,

Kaydy

What do a mom, two boys, and a dream have in common?

What do a mom, two boys, and a dream have in common?

What I have experienced the last 10 months of my life has been more than I could have imagined. “What’s that?”, you say. Well, I’ve decided to dream again, and that has led me to create a self-titled website that houses all of my dreams in one place. You see, to some it seems crazy to house single parent mentoring and events beside my Spanish teaching programs. But, not to me! It’s absolutely logical. In fact, I don’t care what “they” say. I’m gonna #DoItAnyway! My boys and I are moving forward in the direction of our dreams.

I say my boys and I because that is the makeup of my family- me and them. I need their cooperation and input to make certain aspects of my dream work. I also know that it is because of them that I dare to dream Big dreams. I want them involved in my dream chasing. I talk to them now about ideas because I want them to see how “not so easy” it is to build something that doesn’t exist. I also want them to see me “Do It Anyway!” I want my will to make it be something they’ll never forget. I want a better life for them. To have all those things, I’ve got to “do something” and I need them to actively participate in this process. Our working together builds a bond not easily broken and I show them I value their input.

So, whether you’re a single parent or not, take it from me and my boys- It’s never too late. Get up and go in the direction of your dreans. We are. Get your kids involed, friends, etc. You will be amazed at the help you’ll receive. But whatever you do, start now!

Life is tough. So are you. Get to dreaming!

XOXO
Kaywanda

5 hindrances to pursuing your purpose

5 hindrances to pursuing your purpose

Recently, it dawned on me that everyone doesn’t know why they’re here. And that got me to thinking about how to help. First off, I know we all have jobs and/or careers, but purpose is that deep desire you have on the inside that you must fulfill. It will not only bless you but others. You can’t sleep because it’s calling your name, and every waking moment you dream about it. Purpose is your “why” for living. Although I believe we can have various degrees of purpose throughout life, I do know that it takes courage to pursue it. So, I list five hindrances to pursuing your purpose. Why do some never chase it and grasp it? Why do some start out on the right course but never finish? Let’s see.

Here are 5 hindrances to changing your life for the better and walking in your purpose.

1. Fear of the unknown
Yeah, I said fear. There is no guarantee that gut feeling you have will work and that, my friend, is scary. But, you know deep down the opposite of fear is going to be regret. So, get clear on what you are to do and just chase it. I guarantee that if it’s your purpose, it will not fail.

2. Doubt
You are skeptical about whether this is where you should go and what you should do. That is very logical and wise, but at some point you have to jump into the unknown sea of doubt to discover your possibility. Don’t let your doubts deter you. Research, study, test it even, but do not stay stuck on doubt.

3. Excuses
How many have you come up with? I had at least four before I started blogging. They were time, money, family, and work. As you can see, I started. No more excuses! Kick them to the curb and go for it! Today!

4. No support system
No one in your corner? Or, they come and go? That’s okay. You support yourself until you can connect with like-minded people. There are many of us who have to go alone in the direction of our dreams and our purpose. I think we’ll all be able to say that at some point others came to help. Keep in mind that what you have to do is too important to leave undone just because others can’t see it. It’s your purpose. Get to it.

5. Don’t know where to begin
I’m laughing as I type this because I so get that it’s hard to know where to start. I started almost a year ago on a journey that isn’t complete, but I’m so glad I started. Do you want to say a year from now you should just start or do you want to be walking in your purpose a year from now? Don’t let excuses hold you back. There will always be excuses why not to do it now. You know what I say? Why not now?

We all have a purpose. Will you be one who at the end of life says, “I should have” or will you be able to say, “I did”? Life isn’t easy. Finding, chasing, and living out your purpose isn’t easy. But, once you find it and live it out, you are forever changed (and so are all around you) for the better. Throw off every weighty excuse and Do It Any Way!

XO